Your condoms have chinstraps? Kudos to you, big guy!

#leavemealoneiknowwhatimdoing - Kimi(läinen)

I find it weird we’re collectively seemingly totally ok with conspiracy theories explaining what happened to Epstein but seemingly NOT ok with the much simpler and vastly more frightening explanation that our prison system just sucks this much.  Like now that a rich and famous white dude died, we’re paying attention.

I mean we should. We should have more roundabouts, and we should replace a lot of stop signs with yields. This would reduce idling and acceleration decreasing both emissions and noise.

I appreciate you advocating for more roundabouts, and I agree. 

But you only spent $2900 on it. If you get a year out of it, it’s already playing with house money. 

Laugh if you want, but it takes ball to publicly humiliate the second most powerful man in the world. 

As A Muslim and daily Jalopnik reader, The moment I saw the word “Hajj”/”Muslim” and then Mothereffin SaUdI aRaBiA, I knew the comment section would go to complete shit. I was right.

Shocking. I always figured guys who bought Dodge Demons were totally zen and would only go to tracks after journaling their feelings and embracing their inner children, and then only to help others there self-actualize their potential. This comes as a great surprise.

Shut your mouth. If that’s how I get Alonso’s signature I’ll take it. The Iowa race isn’t horrible and the access to the teams/cars is pretty amazing. It’s also a fun track to drive, did a NASCRAP experience there and was able to hit 140, the fastest I’ve ever driven a car. 

What dream? Buying a bunch of cars that you’re not driving and you’re probably not even looking at them much anymore because they’re all jammed together? I appreciate cars, but not when they’re just tossed in a shed and nothing is done with them. I’d rather have 10 cars in good running order that I can enjoy than 250…

Gotta admit, in a story involving three baseball players and their wives, I did not think an overwhelming majority would have reasonable opinions. 

I’m too sad to think or write coherently. I discovered the Silver Jews in my 30's, after I had thought I'd heard it all. There was so much playfulness and wounded sweetness in those songs. As I laid in bed weeping for my failed marriage and life, David Berman crooned away those humid Kentucky nights. I don't know that…

Jeep Compass, hands down.

His base is going to say that anyway. Might as well get your money’s worth and spit on him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the Golf Rs they’ll lock me up and throw away the key.”

That looks like it belongs in an 80s movie depicting the 2000s. 

1st gear: A company with $6,000 in quarterly sales, fucking $6,000, worse than any local mom and pop shop you can think of that’s still open, is valued at about $200 million. That tells you everything you need to know about venture capital and the geniuses who choose where to invest it.

Who cares. It’s not like anybody is going to buy this thing to go carving corners at Deal’s Gap. This is a boulevard cruiser.

The car folds in half for easier transportation to the salvage yard. It’s a FEATURE.