Kinda

How do I hop on this government subsidized sporting event ticket bandwagon?

"Defending from invaders" definitely sounds a lot more noble than "shouting obscenities at buses full of Guatemalan kids fleeing from drug cartels," that's for sure!

Aww, but college football fans are always so level-headed, reasonable and measured when an important player's honor/reputation/eligibility to play are at stake.

He will end all poverty, crime and unemployment with playoff appearances and shitty t-shirts, duuuuh!

"Save an entire city"? The fuck? Is he Batman now or something? It may not be as fun as the nutty sports-hype fantasy world you are currently inhabiting, but you should try coming back to Earth at some point.

The only thing inane here is every single thing you've said so far.

Shiner Bock is pretty terrible.

I can get behind that. I can't decide if the "abortion is straight up murder" crowd are naive, callous, or just have too black & white of a worldview, though.

The pro-life/anti-choice movement probably encompasses a lot of different worldviews and attitudes. I don't think it's necessarily a strawman to say that maybe there might be a good bit of misogyny in that camp.

And LOUD. Don't forget loud.

I think that is a large piece of it, for sure. A nice homage to 'Merica's Puritan roots, eh? The more things change, the more they stay the same.

And he'd totes love to see people lining up outside Planned Parenthood clinics to call people murderers and yell hateful obscenities.

What does selfishness have to do with pro-choicers and secular pro-lifers?

My bad, we all forgot men are incapable of responding like rational human beings when presented with provocation. They lack the mental ability to produce words or actions that diffuse situations in ways that don't involve knocking your goddam fiance unconscious. Duh

I dated a bipolar girl in college who would on occasion flip right the fuck out and hit me (this was after we had 'broken up'). I did not hit her back. It was not a threat to anything other than my sanity. I very much doubt that Ray Rice's wife was a threat to him either, and it seems pretty fuckin disingenuous to…

"I'll reserve judgment," says the man who has in fact almost definitely passed judgment.

Can we put a moratorium on people using the bitchy and inane phrase "clickbait" for a hot minute? What does that shit even mean? A lazy word for lazy thoughts.

So are we in store for more hamfisted enlightenment, or just some good ole fashioned backtracking?

"Baw gosh darn it, well the joke sucked anyway! Harumph!" Deflecting much, bruh?