You’re like the third person to agree with me on this so I think if we get a couple more people we could properly investigate.

There’s nothing in Bayshore but the mall. Granted you can actually get an apartment there and live AT the mall but still

The digression in American Gods to the little town up north (based on Menominee I think since Neil Gaiman has a house there) is also representative of what I’m talking about here.

I was at a party a few months ago with the cast of a community theater play I was in and it was my first time and no one really knew me well so the conversation came around to where I was from and I said, “Well I mostly grew up in Chicago, but I also spent a lot of time in Brooklyn as a kid, almost every summer” and I…

Haha there are a couple of “wineries” in the area that are just people who buy those home kits and then bottle and sell what they make. I’m not gonna drink that shit but it’s ballsy as a business plan

We were up in Door County recently for a weekend getaway with my sister and my parents and I’d never been up there off-season before and it’s pretty fucking creepy driving through all those adorable little ghost towns.

Yeah and it’s not like this is some working class rust belt white thing either. The last person who said the “from Milwaukee” line to me was a lady who owns her own computer repair shop.

Yeah my wife and I looked at a house there and even though it was nice I was immediately like “Well, I liked the kitchen and the bedrooms but when it comes right down to it I think fuck this place.”

Well I can’t speak for Baraboo because I don’t live there. It’s on the other side of the state.

I knew I wasn’t the only one suspicious of that fucking place. My sister lived there for a little while when she and her husband moved back to the state and were looking for a house to buy and every time I went there it had a very ‘Salem’s Lot kind of feel.

I mean yeah but if you’ve ever watched Milwaukee news while not living in Milwaukee, which describes basically everyone in this area since we’re right at the border of the Milwaukee and Green Bay news area, you would think its populated entirely by black people who are laying down suppressing fire for one another at…

Yeah especially in the kind of corridor between where I live in Fond du Lac up to Green Bay. Oshkosh and Appleton are sort of pockets of civilization but Fond du Lac County is one of the whitest places in the country. You hear people here complaining a lot about how developers are buying apartment complexes and…

I’m from Chicago originally I drink because of mild alcoholism.

There are a couple of places in this state where I’m like 90% sure that Cthulu cult activity is going on, and Kimberly is one of them. The other is Cedarburg, which somehow manages to maintain three yarn stores and a yarn museum on its entirely-too-idyllic main street in this economy. Someone is fucking a fish being…

I mean that’s our obesity problem in a nutshell but I seriously think there’s something going on in Kimberly because everyone I know from there is absurdly huge, and that’s not an insignificant reason why they just rolled over people in football for years.

Forget it, Jake. It’s Kimberly.

Kimberly, it should be noted, is an absolutely insane place when it comes to sports. They just had a YEARS long undefeated streak in high school football ended this year by my hometown team. It’s something in the water up there, because one of my student workers is from there and she is about 6 ft tall and tells me…

There’s no hard number but that’s not to say the concept of “moving too quickly” is fake. It’s just different for everybody.

Well yeah that’s why I wanted to make sure I was in before it happened. Fortunately she knows the score so hopefully it rolls off her a little easier, but just in case I think she should know she’s good.

In to say this is good before people get mad at you.