My theory is that you’re a huge dork.

I have my B.A. and M.A. in history and can speak six languages and I need a swear jar because a couple of days ago I said “That guy is a dumbass” to my wife and my three year old yelled “DON’T SAY DUMBASS TO MOMMY!” Also: We were going on vacation and I saw that gas prices where we were were way higher than at home.…

He’s got like a 30% Trump score, including voting for a number of his cabinet appointees. 

I’m not having trouble understanding where he gets the money. I understand that it’s due to his committee assignments and the fact that he’s a blue senator in a rapidly reddening state, so he might be willing to do a little more for you if you’ll back him up. I just wonder how no one seems to have realized this while…

No, but they pull their money and give it to your opponent the next time you’re up for reelection. None of what you say is how any of this works!

I have a hard time understanding how anyone could think in the year of our lord two thousand and nineteen that how much money you get from whom doesn’t have an impact on politicians.

It seems like a very great deal compared to the other people up there

I’m not sure personal wealth is such a great thing to run on these days for a democrat

How is Sherrod Brown the highest by so much? I mean I gather it’s got to do with his committee seats but like how does he maintain his reputation as an old school labor democrat with that kind of corporate money?

Man Chimchar is my favorite. Dickheads

*audio distorted Spanish of “Team Rocket’s blasting off AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN!” over light Mexican guitar riff*

You’re wildly underestimating how strange rich people are.

Uh not quite that much anymore. Not for long anyway

I mean they say it in the first sentence. The point of the title is to draw you in by piquing your interest about an old white guy in Texas talking this way. It’s clickbaity but that’s sort of how the world turns

Indian, Egyptian, Egyptian, Mexican. What I’d like I guess is for you to figure out what a black person is.

Unstable Unicorns has been ruining my home life since we bought it on New Years

Unstable Unicorns has been ruining my home life since we bought it on New Years

Fuck off

Two. And one for Bernie and one for Hillary.

Holy shit I don’t care. Talk like a boomer get asked if you’re a boomer

How fucking old are you?