Someone should collect all these stories in a coffee table book called “Things That Can Never Possibly Happen to Normal People”.

So, there’s this guy who walks in a bar, gets a beer, starts chatting with the bartender, tells him his mother-in-law is a nagging hag who is driving him and his wife nuts, and at some point the bartender interjects:

Ted Cruz begs to differ

And tires are rubber and rubber is soft (like a marshmallow) so it would be more like a harmless pillow fight than manslaughter.

I think its about time we write Florida off as a mistake.

Leave it to Florida Man to be an actual mother fucker.

My former neighbor was separated from his wife because she had had an affair with his son (her step-son).

You know it’s going to be a good story when those are the first two words of the headline.

According to porn, that’s not how this is supposed to work.