Nah... he's probably paid for one. In fact, I'll bet he paid for every bj he ever got. 

He's not smart enough to know what germs he really should be afraid of.

$6..., he'd take back $6

‘Cept for that ONE time.

Balls. He has no balls.

As objectively shitty as Ted Cruz is as a person, I must point out that this is exactly how I’d expect any teen girl to react in public when her (in) famous dad tries to get PDA for the cameras.

Just contemplating this hurts.

Hairless Werewolf is the name of my next punk/polka band.

 Some very good ideas here.

Between things like this, Nate Jackson’s Slow Getting Up, and Tom Brady’s ever-present stupid, smug face...I really have lost most of my love of football.

Rule 34

How much was the fee?

Who chose February as Black History month? I'm guessing it was white folks and was chosen specifically because it's the shortest month.

In-cellar-ections?

Self-deluded Patriotic Alpha Males:

Karens and Susans and Chads, oh my.

Mmmm powdered ham 🤤

I really want to see him be his own lawyer here. 🤣🤣🤣

Starred for "you bet your tits"

I’ll bet that includes a strap-on. I mean, her middle name is Peg, ain’t it?