i once planted a bunch of flowers when i am not, in fact, a honeybee or hummingbird.
crazy time, man.

True story. My sister once raised money to save the Brazilian Rain Forest despite the fact that she’s not, in fact, a marmoset.

Can people not last 24 hours without revealing who dies with a header image/ominous headline/first sentence/FB post? Jesus, I was going to watch this at lunchtime today and I didn’t even last that long.

YES. When I saw the header image, these are the thoughts that went through my brain in the span of about a second and a half:

Yours is the darkest shade.

My Mom was the chillest woman ever. She had had a very hard life and I was basically her menopause and then she lost my Dad to a heart attack. (I know, it’s an effin’ soap opera - I lost her when I was 20 and it still hurts. I’m 47 now.)

And this one is COTTON JERSEY

Wow. You know, I’ve disagreed with Jezebel a lot but I’ve always stuck around. I mean, no one’s perfect, so a blog certainly can’t be perfect either, right?

Craziest thing I’ve done after a breakup? Gained 40 lbs, had sex once and a mental breakdown twice.

Stopped dating... after the last highly manipulative cheating sack. I was in my mid-thirties. I am now 56. AND very happily single.

It’s so annoying that I can’t enjoy articles like this because, like, I always seem to know what Harvard researchers are going to prove before they prove it :/ bummer.

allegation*

You know that he likes the classics! Petite women who are heavy chested, or models, and of course beer that tastes like sadness.

This sort of guy truly truly believe the evolutionary psych crap about men growing better with age like a fine wine that sexy 18 year olds want.

for serious. all the petite large breasted women I know either a)have to get seriously insane custom made bras or b)got a boob reduction.

Maybe you shoulda gotten yourself ready for a family at a bit younger age, sir, you ain’t no spring chicken.

um, no. There is something wrong here, that all 26 of them were stupid enough to not use a fucking condom. c’mon.