I’m with her. I’ve dealt with some shitty stuff from my own family after I came out a few years ago and, I’ll be honest, I hardly speak to about a third of my family as a result. I’ve had the random “hi, I still love you, but your lifestyle choice is offensive to me, so stay away from XYZ event, KTHXBYE kisses!” texts…

Looks like a Friday night out in Glasgow to me, just with less stiletto-heel stabbings.  *files claws*

Ivanka has no power?  Well, that’s what you get when you forget to charge your sexbot!

I see your cute wee island and raise you 660 acres of Scottish island for sale. I’m trying to convince my grandmother that we need to either a, buy the island or b, invade...

Ah, Avril.  She who’s (whose?) Google search result used to come with the tag-line “unique wild-child spirit” or some other crap like that.  *fetches the mind-bleach*

*reaches for the Stoly*

Get a fucking boat.  Sleep in said boat.  Guaranteed to wake up not with a fish nibbling your eyelid.

No, Chloe, you’re not off-base. You’re well within your rights to ram a fucking screwdriver up the thieving shitehawk’s scrotum. Unless you declare your fridge to be open territory, then the fucker has no right to peruse the contents of your fridge.

Blessed be!

Oh, blessed be!

Well, isn’t this just delightful. Another way to screw up, nay, fuck up, nay, bastardise Italian cuisine by adding something so monumentally and grotesquely evil. And there was my thinking the worst you lot could come up with was Sketti. Oh, how wrong was I.

*pets*

Fuck off and drill your own country into the bedrock, Trump.

I’m so stealing that for my office bathrooms.  There are some messy pissers amongst my male cohorts.  I don’t think they were even raised in a barn, the filthy bastards...

But will they make me clutch to the toilet in panic as they evacuate my body?  *serious-news-face*

But will they make me clutch to the toilet in panic as they evacuate my body?  *serious-news-face*

Goddamnit to high fuckery - why can’t we have a Ghibli Star Wars?  They could redeem those fuckwitted prequels by remaking them Ghibli-style...

I don’t know what’s more damning - the dish, the music or the eternal condemnation of 3.8 million people’s ancestors.

You know, I’d not be averse to drinking milk from a metal bottle. Cans - not so much. It’d have to have some resealable element, mind you. Metal bottles? Yeah, I’d do that.  Glass bottles could be better still. 

Oh go on. Fap yourself into a froth and give me a good laugh. Nothing worse than someone with an anime icon wanking on about a country that they clearly know nothing about! Go on, ya wee hussy. Give us all a thrill!

Oh honey.  You’re talking out of your arse again, sugar.