Hence the Green Dippy Sauce.  It can either be predominantly mint-based, mint and coriander, or just a mixture of herbs and spices.

Tampon Lockjaw - just because you sucked your way to the “top” of your game doesn’t mean every woman has done it. You’ll find 99.98% of women have this amazing thing called “Decency” and “Standards” (something you’re clearly lacking, fuckwit).

Maybe cram some unnecessary salad and bacon bits on there too whilst you’re at it?  Oh, and a slab of green devil sperm, aka, guacamole?

Na.  It’s not as over-whored as sriracha.

*fetches the large bottle of single malt*  Looks like we’re getting smashed tonight!

Mate, that’s something I’d put on my cat to piss him off.  Away with your devilry!  

*snerk*

I was hoping for a boil pizza.  Curse you!

A fucking ribbon?  What the Pollyanna hell is this?  Ribbons around necks belong in some crappy BDSM novel, not a workplace.  Dear christ...

Oh good, I thought I was the only one who cringed at that.  Bloody Americans. I’m amazed she didn’t catapult some Basic Becky Dressing, aka Ranch, onto it as well.

Ah, This Morning. Ever since Phil and Holly took over presenting, it’s been a source of hilarity. Not like that patronising morning drivel you get over the Pond...

But is it the stuff that makes your hated coworker nearly shit himself to death?  Fun times, people, fun times...

But is it the stuff that makes your hated coworker nearly shit himself to death?  Fun times, people, fun times...

Ugh, Victoriana.  I always find the Edwardian and inter-war years more fun (and in the case of the latter, sexier too) 

*pops on some Goldfrapp*

YES YES YES YES YES YES!!! Can we also see if we can get Naomi Wildman back?  (I’m KIDDING.  Don’t kill me!)

Better than the plane randomly dropping out of the sky, a la 737-MAX, non?

Where do you think you got it from, eh?  

Pshaw.  Typical Friday night street scene in any city in the UK.  

Remind me again, someone - what is the point in Armie Hammer?

Yeah, I’m still holding out to see what Motorola have up their sleeves with their rumoured RAZR relaunch. I’ve heard that they’ve cracked the folding screen/mechanism dilemma and if it is going to be a potential return to the good old clamshell body (thus negating the need for a case), then I’d be willing to throw my…