It’s from eating the souls of all of those babies...

I’m all for slaughtering those American invaders. They nearly killed Tufty, the fat little fuckers!

My god, but that’s an ugly fucker of a ring.  KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Diddums!

I know some moaning-faced wee hipster with bad hair and breath is going to snark - but I think Korean food is...fun. The flavours are brilliant, a lot of it is so damned colourful and any time I’ve ever had it - either in a restaurant or at a friend’s house - it’s always fresh and it’s always so damned good.

Is that her in that picture?  If so, she looks like a right tit.

Ah, the minions...

*pokes with stick*

This is one of those times when I wish I smoked so I could put my fag out on this shitstain’s eyeball. Fuck him, fuck him to infinity.

Fuck you, Geraldo. Fuck you to infinity and then some.

I’m bloody glad that I have to get up at 5 am to get ready for work because that’s when the Fuzzy Ninja rolls off his bed, struts into my room, pounces and yowls for his breakfast.  World’s best - and cutest - alarm clock.  Mind you, god help us if he doesn’t get his favourite chicken for breakfast...

One of the most delicious pestos out there is pesto alla trapanese, made with tomato, almonds, cheese and basil (oh, and a healthy glug of good olive oil).

Catholics:  the suburban cannibals!

Fuckwittery, too.

WHERE ARE THE CAT NIPPLES?  THERE SHOULD BE AT LEAST SIX OF ‘EM ON TAYTO’S BODY!

My Grandfather, god rest his soul, once told me that if I could see the stars at night, then I was sleeping under their protection. He told me that the stars were actually ancient warriors who watched over sleeping children, the moon was their queen and the clouds were their hunting dogs, seeking out evil.

Well, to be as cunty as someone says I am (moi? I’m adorable. Plus I only handle people with kid gloves made from real kids...), I’m loving the fact that a fellow manager is having to go on long-term sick-leave with a possibility that they won’t be returning. This is the sort of person who, ahem, slept their way into…

Hey, fuckwit, I’ve been to your shitty wee country several times in the past.  Calm your MAGA-arse down.  Oh, and by the way?  The UK has some of the most stringent food safety laws in the world.  Tell me - how many Yanks have died from gorging themselves on foodstuffs contaminated with e-coli?  Away you go and have a…

I wouldn’t know - I make it a mission in life to not eat food from trucks.  They’re frequently dodgy, run by men with bad hair and questionable dental habits and often serve up e-coli or listeria as a bonus topping.

Oh, fuck off, you badly coiffed semi-sentient spoiled melon of a woman.  Piss off back to whatever trailer you call home.  Go on, shoo.