Those people are fucking monsters and should be staked as soon as they speak. If you want a “traditional” pasta, capelli d’angelo is one of the oldest pastas from Italy.  It’s perfect with light sauces - as above (though I’m itching to add some breadcrumbs like my granny does along with a skoosh of lemon and some…

God, just switch to celsius already.  Whilst you’re at it, go metric.  Measuring is so much more bloody simple.  Twits.

At last, Chad and Becky can grill their uninspiring and under-seasoned chicken to their uninspiring EDM Spotify playlist!  

No, that’s London.  Londoners are notorious wankers.  Best sprayed with bleach and exposed to sunlight.  *firm nod*

Hmm. I’ve had a variety of holiday-related disasters - being stuck on a plane which flew over the tail-end of the Great Storm of 1987 (fucking hell, never again), being on a 747 that experienced rather dramatic turbulence flying over Indonesia (always fun when you’re trying to quaff a G&T and the wee telly says you’ve…

Look at wee Kevin pounding away on that metal table and probably scaring the everlasting living shit out of his neighbours!  *wuffle* (Just press down on the blade and stop making that racket, you twit)

So they can figure out if you’re going to be a cunt to them or not?

Yeah. I feel that vegetarian/vegan meals on aircraft are the ultimate afterthought in customer comfort. “Oh, you don’t eat meat? What do you mean, you don’t want beef or cow?” And you’re left, literally, to starve. Fuck you, BA.

It’s the whole drama and meta-drama around the creation of Rumours, to be honest. They started off as a relatively solid group, and by the end of creating what is classed as one of the greatest albums of the 1970s, they were ready to kill each other. You can definitely hear it in songs like Second Hand News, Dreams and…

Chuck, you dull, dumb anal fissure - concentration camps were invented by the British. So take it from this Brit that your “proud and brave” (snort) country is building concentration camps. What the Nazis built and what my grandmother’s family experienced in the 1940s were extermination camps.  You keep digging that…

Saddest meal I’ve ever had was on a flight from London to Shanghai back in the early 2000s. Twas American Airlines. I’ve always been impressed with AA’s ability to bastardise cuisine (let me tell you sometime about the utterly inedible “provencal stew” sometime. You’ll vomit) but I was presented with a tray of what…

Obviously, ramon was a staple in my life, but I’d end up with 2/3 a loaf of bread in the fridge that I didn’t want it to go bad.

How can an entire community “forgive” the people committing the atrocity keep doing the atrocity?

Heh. There’s nothing funnier than watching us men go hunting around Boots (think Walgreens, but British) for that “Perfect” smelling deodorant. Often they’ll walk out with something by Lynx that has a curiously similar smell to their aftershave, or maybe something by Dove in a curiously matt-olive-green canister or…

I always wonder how irritating Sofia Coppola can get.  She never fails to disappoint in telling me “Bitch, hold my skinny venti demi-capu with soy foam...”

Be easy on them.  They’re American.  

He looks like he votes UKIP. Be well, my little neckbeard and be happy in that you’ll forever be alone, masturbating furiously to dodgy Korean porn.

Not in a carbonara. It doesn’t exist. It’s like adding cream to an alfredo sauce: it just doesn’t add anything to the original dish.

Nomi and Amanita are my favourite couple on Sense8. There’s no questioning how much they adore each other, or what they would do to protect the other - especially Amanita. She’s delightfully kick-ass when necessary.

I’ll throw in Get Real - it doesn’t have the stereotypical “lovers ride off into the sunset” but you get the distinct impression that the lead character, having outed himself to his entire school and his family, goes onto bigger and better things along with his female best friend. And then there’s Beautiful Thing,…