Yeah, I’d hold her handbag. I remember my mother being equally badass/downright scary when I was being bullied in high school (I was pretty short until I was around eighteen, then *whump*, up I went...) Fortunately she didn’t need to lift a finger - I have an equal-parts-badass-borderline-psychotic sister (who was…

Good lord, he’s named after something my mother shoves up a chicken’s hole before popping it in the oven.  Whodathunk?

Sod the tacky mitten - send me the man.  Rawr.

Sod the tacky mitten - send me the man.  Rawr.

Oh, do take a seat and shut your mouth for a second.  This man believed that he could turn a straight man gay for his own sexual gratification.  And we all know you’d be singing a different tune if he’d tried it with a woman or girl.

I always go back to something that my Aunt does with salad - always serve it with a chilli, ginger and balsamic dressing.  And fuck off back to your mother’s basement with your “ranch” dressing.  That shit is nastier than Trump’s anus.

Let’s try that again. Ahem. “Ask Theresa May”. She’s almost Mid-West in her attitude towards lasagna.  She’s probably infamous for serving her curry with steamed vegetables.

Ask Theresa May.

These people must be found, set on fire, and their ashes scattered to the four winds.  Next they’ll be claiming to be making “better-tasting” ramen with courgettes or your Great-Aunt Mabels gussetted underwear.  

I never understand people who love carbonara - especially non-Italian style carbonara. Good carbonara should only consist of freshly boiled pasta, egg, cheese, guanciale and some salt and pepper. And that’s it. Anything else is, in the words of my Grandmother, fucking wrong.

I have some coneshell venom tea to give you then.  Drink up!  Gulp gulp!

Right, I’m coming over and I’m bringing my Grandmother with me. She likes her breakfasts served at 6 am on the dot and by god, there had better be full-strength coffee...

I’m for that.  Not everyone works for a blog and has copious amounts of time to faff about in the kitchen.  There are nights when I get in, throw the cat a piece of a customer’s liver, and crack open a packet of Knorr Florida Vegetable Soup (it’s actually quite delicious, especially when chilled overnight and drunk…

Kate and Alison survive this round.  They can keep their skin.  As for Pang...*glower*

Pang, you basic strumpet. One does not put bacon in carbonara. Maybe the “Italians” do in New Jersey, but over in Italy it’s about the guanciale. *slap*

We call that “Chicken Maryland” over here, and it’s on pretty much every menu at every Chinese or Indian restaurant and take-away.

LOL. Hapsburgs, in particular the Spanish line of the Hapsburg dynasty? Their interbreeding was on a truly American-Hillbilly/Florida level - the last one was Charles II, who died in 1700 (so that’s not exactly ancient history, unlike the Egyptians), not to mention the Austrian Hapsburgs. Then you have the distant…

This. Exactly this. Her coronation was an almost perfect study in stiff-upper-lip.  Add to that the fact that Cersei started to realise just how big a task being queen actually was without a child or her father to hide behind and, yeah.  

And that means that South Africa *is* Hell!

Dude - that wasn’t Lilim - it was Afrikaans!

Whilst I applaud Chobani for getting rid of that debt, I need to ask:  why the everlasting fuck are those kids being given a fucking PBJ sandwich?  That’s not an acceptable meal for growing kids in my book.  Kids need complex nutrition to help them grow, to help them study, etc.  Warwick District needs to be shot out…