I’m going to say something utterly “controversial” (at least, amongst the guys in my office) and state that my favourite SBTB character is Jessie Spano. I know that, as a card-carrying member of the Kylie Minogue Worshipping Community that I should have a thing for Zack or Slater, but look - Zack I would gladly shoot…

I’ve always loved how one of my colleagues (that I don’t want to kill!) makes tandoori popcorn. Given that she’s from a Pakistani family, I thought “Oh cool, she must use her mother’s recipe to make this, for Shabbi’s tandoori chicken and/or lamb is to fucking die for and literally had that wanker from Customer…

I wish you could see the startled look on my face, because I just want to know:  are devilled eggs a thing nowadays?  I mean, christ on a pogostick.  What’s next?  Deep-fried celery?

*files nails*

This man’s providing a service to those who need it in his community. If anything, he should be fucking lauded, not ordered to stop because Officer Porkrind is upset.

I briefly went out with a horse owner when I was at Uni. God, he was gorgeous - six foot three, built like a whippet and hung like a donkey.

To the dog-walking wanker: go fuck yourself. That is not a fucking dog park. Take your inbred self and mutt to a fucking park and throw a fucking frisbee and fucking shut your yap. Do you think the students want to watch your fucking mutt take a shit?  No cunt, they don’t.  Pack yourself up and fuck off to a trailer…

No, let the little morons choke.  The planet’s overpopulated as it is.

I always used to wonder what madness caused by syphilis looked like and now, thanks to that Ingraham thing, I know!

Ingraham - proving syphilis drives you crazy since 1963.

Easter baskets? Easter baskets? What the fresh hell is this? What sort of Stepford-Wife-tomfoolery are you indulging in? Give me the egg and go organise your towels...

Jinkx - my second-favourite Queen after the bitter old bitch herself, Bianca del Rio!

*files claws*

I’d rather them be placed on a high speed lathe with a burning poker jabbing them in the hole forever.  Miserable fucking band.

I was raised to believe that anyone who is being bullied, or thinks they’re being bullied, should stand up to their bullies whenever they can.  That can be through physical force or just plain refusing to let the bastards beat you down.  

Just thought I’d chime in with a few details that some people seem to be unaware of.

Clearly Kevin has never experienced...THIS!

Oh.

*fetches biscuits to go with tea and yes, I do mean cookies and no, not those ones you Yanks dredge in horse-cum and claim is a tasty breakfast. What is wrong with you people?*

*refills mug*