“American Freedom Distillery”...

Yes, but Jessie later had drowning-fish-sex in a Vegas swimming pool with Kyle McWhatsit (who had an impressive arse-double) - all tastefully lit by neon palm trees. You shut your yapper about Jessie!

Oh, fuck that with a hefty pole. Next time, I recommend heating up a batch of oil and have it ready to chuck at ‘em.

Dunno, I’ve always pictured Watson and I riding into battle on armour-plated tigers, hollering and smiting our foes with items of a sharp and pointy nature...

I remember asking my friend’s (admittedly terrifying) Chinese grandmother how she made perfect rice.

So, basically he revels in being a dumb fuck who designs clothing that looks like it would be best suited to the set of a low-budget dystopian horror film? Fuck off, Kanye.

Oh, do be quiet. No one likes a troll.

There are bigger concerns in my country right now than the wedding between a minor royal and a society climber: the Windrush deportations are truly horrific and need to told far and wide.

I’m with you on the cake aspect, as long as we’re talking about the recent craze for excessive amounts of frosting. I like to bake as a hobby and I often take treats in for that pack of ravenous twats I call “my team” but I draw the line (murderously so) at frosting. I do ice cakes - my gingerbread gets a lovingly…

I can’t tell you how utterly and ridiculously happy this makes me!

No. Get out. Stay out. *squirts with water pistol filled with cat widdle*

There’s a little corner of my soul - and that of a lot of kids who grew up in the late 1980s in the UK - that’ll forever adore this song to infinity and back and all I can say is: do not cover this. Ever.

“Broke ass IKEA 200 thread sheets” is now my insult of choice for the gay bitch at work who claims he only wears “organically harvested silk ties”...

They’ve done it before, you know...

Well *he says, filing the claws*, us British gayers know that Prince Edward bats for our team. Allegedly, darlings, allegedly.

I thought the Robot’s redesign was gorgeous. It’s clearly a robot - but a robot designed and built by an alien civilisation (potentially an all-artificial one at that) I loved the fact that the Robot’s ship was surreally alien as well - too many times the tits on Star Trek have traipsed onto an alien vessel from a…

I’ll make a recommendation: Record by Tracey Thorne. One half of the insanely brilliant Everything But The Girl, Record has some of the most beautifully written - and underrated - music released this year. Personal favourites? Queen, Guitar, and the album-finisher, Dancefloor.

I never understood why Rory was allowed to live for all seven seasons of this show. Just kill the whiny, entitled, prissy, gurning-faced tit off and focus the show on Lorelai and Emily.

And the little mouthbreather who called the cops? Has it been fired?

Get out.