The MOST suspicious thing is that (and I don’t know if you’ve noticed) every eight ball purchased after Ahmed was born has an answer that says “Future seems murky but the one thing we can all agree about is that Ahmed Mohamed caused 9/11".

A local comedian made a sketch and comedy movie about running for chancelor. Some people took it seriously. Maybe Donald Trump will reveal himself as a very dedicated performance artist.

My mom asked me, uncomfortably, if it was true that Donald Trump was running for president because she'd been under the impression, until Tuesday this week, that it was an elaborate satirical sketch.

Cool, kid. *

“why?”

As another perpetual single this is something that I’m dying to know as well.

Because when you don’t live among racists it is genuinely shocking. I live on a little lily white island of the UK mainland that had a load of grandmas knitting a “Welcome to the Island” banner for the Syrian refugees that were sent over here. And it was great. Also there was cake.

One time, my friend’s brother’s cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s stepdaughter’s boyfriend was walking by a park wearing a baseball cap, and the next thing you know, he was captured, forced to play short stop for six months, and then won the World Series.

I (usually) only wash my hair once a week (shower daily with a cap). But I use a dry conditioner on day 2 followed by a dry shampoo on days 4,5 and 6 (Living Proof has one that really seems to remove dirt, not just mask it with powder). However, I make my husband do a sniff test. It’s like Pauxatawney Phil. If he…