“That’s like re-segregating the country, why would we want that? Besides of course the reasons Tucker Carlson and I lay out every night.”

Just last night I was going to comment on one of your posts that this place needs to hire you as a writer. So it's nice to see I can just will things into existence with the power of my mind.

Does “every episode of good eats” count as a book?

Well, rats are a lot smarter than your average hipster.

It sounds more like a trap to catch homeless people.

It’s IPA, right?

My preferred number of eggs for a scramble is also three, and one of my usual add-ins is cheese.  Sometimes I’ll even crush up some Salsa Verde Doritos and mix them in.

I like to have a martini,

College.

They’re also the same space cadets that make it only major city to not flouridate their water

No, and while we are at it, neither should infants. Looking at you Portland!

3180mg of sodium. Pretty sure I had a heart attack just reading that.

Yeah.

I’m trying to eat healthier, and eat less meat, but today was A&W crispy chicken sandwich.

I can thank The Takeout and all the other people writing about Chick Fil-a and Popeyes making me want a fried chicken sandwich.

It was great. 

I’m not down with this anti-intellectualism. I have a large vocabulary. I use the words I know with the closest meaning to what I am trying to say. It means sometimes I use words other people don’t know. Fancy words are fun to learn and say!

Drew Magary never prepared me for THIS.

What what?

In an article about being open-minded and tolerant of different ideas about foods, people are being absolutely vicious to you for not liking a particular spice profile.

If this becomes a thing, I might have to get medieval on your heiney…