I hate brutalist architecture with...well, I’d say the burning fury of a supernova, but in truth, it’s way too depressing for that. More like the cold, unforgiving surface of a planet that once supported life before its star burned out, leaving behind only a barren hunk of rock.

I was one of those “fans who watched for the crashes.”

NASCAR lost me largely because of the incessant gimmicks. This “dirt race” is just another carny-show distraction from a sport that used to do just fine with holding 34 races a year, totaling up the points, declaring a champion, and letting the fact that motorsport is inherently interesting and exciting carry the day…

Or the Fallout 2 approach to child killers and slavers.

The NCR and I had a slight misunderstanding over whether I could use their monorail...

Ehhh...it’s got nothin’ on the Mythbusters Symphony in C4.

Could always use deep machine learning to fix it. al-gorithm’s an Arabic word, ain’t it?

I wanted to form a dollar-store knockoff version of Islam to make a buck but there was no Prophet in it.

I’m old enough to remember Cabbage Patch Kids, or as they were more commonly known in 1984, Cause For Homicide Kids.

Best birthday I ever had as a kid was when I turned 12 in 1989...and Mom fucking finally got it through her head that I hated birthday parties. I got an NES for Christmas in 1988. And I made it abundantly clear that the 16th of July was going to involve me playing it all day. No human interaction (the cat was welcome.…

That’s what the pepperoni at Domino’s is for.

Someone needs to dropkick Heinz’s CMO off the Fort Pitt Bridge for the good of humanity.

Private Parts is a best used as a punny name for military initiates.

My ex-wife once had a wardrobe malfunction involving a towel when she was surprised by the cable guy showing up just as she got out of the shower. Said it was, as any normal person would figure it to be, both awkward and horribly embarrassing for both parties involved.

My favorite Easter treat is making “Pontius Pilates” exercise jokes about getting nailed to a cross.

BK is not a place anyone goes on purpose, it’s a place people end up at. I’ve eaten at the one with a bus stop right in front of it midway between where I often work and where I live just because it was the only well-located fast food in that mid-stretch of the afternoon commute. Hunger is the best spice, Sancho.

There are certainly coffee snobs in Seattle, but (thank the gods) they do not represent all Washingtonians.

I gotta second that. Anything that hit its heyday in the 90s?

I will always be a digital-download evangelist just because I used to be homeless, and despite having literally nowhere to put physical media, I still had my complete game library on my computer, stored in the cloud such that even if the laptop got stolen in the shelter or destroyed by the elements, any new machine I…