Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies

We can't bust heads like we used to - but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt…

Bart, if you come out, I'll let you eat raw cookie dough.

Welcome to the chocolate factory, I’m Troy McClure. You probably remember me from such films as The Revenge of Abe Lincoln and The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West.

Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense.

No one who speaks German could be an evil man.

Stupid babies need the most attention

Jazz is like the new Coke, it'll be around forever.

Classic hits from ABBA to Zeppelin, comma, Led.

♪ What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?

Mmmm, Brown. Heckuva school. Weren't you at Brown, Otto?

You may remember me from such cartoons as "Christmas Ape" and "Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp".

Are you folks ready to go ape?

He can make you laugh with no more than a frantic flailing of his limbs.

Don't you hate pants?

Spider Pig!

My Spidey sense is tingling! Anybody call for a webslinger?

Boy, I really hope someone got fired for that blunder.

Quimby— if you were running for mayor, he'd vote for you.

Whoops, sorry son! I didn't know you, Jay Leno, and a monkey were bathing a clown.