Fool me 13 times shame on you ...

No, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. The punishment fits because it’s fitting both this crime and all the other incredibly dangerous similar crimes he’s gone out of his way to commit on the field over the past decade. You get one DUI, you get a year in jail. If it’s your sixth one, the judge isn’t going to be…

This will be Burfict’s 14th suspension in his NFL career, and his third for an illegal hit. After his ejection, the Raiders captain ran off the field blowing kisses to the booing crowd.

My favorite part about IASIP is that my favorite bit always changes. Right now I die at the first scene of “Wolf Cola: A Public Relations Disaster”. The casualty with which Frank just plops down his gun and snorts blow just kills me every single time.

I think The Implication scene from The Gang Buys a Boat demonstrates how you can make a joke about practically anything. But the trick is in how you frame the joke.

No way. Dee in the bathroom as an ostrich!

you don’t get it.

Whiney manbabies really are all over the Internet. 

You mean like If Beale Street Could Talk, To Kill a Mockingbird, Death and the Maiden, Brian Banks, When They See Us, etc, etc.... Yeah there are no movies or tv shows about that? Go back to 8chan, so that you can run away of all the mean women tormenting you for being a man, and refusing to giving you the attention…

“Jesus told the guards, ‘do what you came for friend’. And that, being the signal Jesus’ commandos were waiting for, resulted in a barrage of gunfire from the nearby bushes into the Socialist Roman guards who had come to arrest him, slaughtering them wholesale, including the traitor Judas.

On the bright side; thanks to the terrible state of American health care at least 8 million of those tens of millions are going to be dead within the decade

It was fun laughing about this until it struck me that there are literally tens of millions of people for whom this is some real, no-bullshit, truth bomb cinema, then I just got sad. 

One big difference: Taco Bell is not Mexican food. It’s an airbag for your liver.

When we had cats, I created a Cat Cafe with a painting hung down close to the ground, their food and water bowls, and a sign that said, “Try our Famous Cat Chow.” I think it’s like that.

I wasn't aware that Trump thought it a good idea that the Yuan weaken. Quite the reverse in fact 

Because it’s acting and when someone does acting well, it’s noteworthy.

This is just You’re Next* but with ritual murder, which is not unacceptable, but Samara Weaving is what’s pushing this over the top for me. She’s fantastic, even when the film she’s in has no idea what to do with her (fuck you, The Babysitter).

From the people who brought you "Battleship," whether you wanted it brought to you or not.

That other one was different. This one has Monopoly Guy.*

Wow look at these hipsters with their glasses and apple products