i gotta say, memory foam is not my friend. I always feel half cocooned in it, hot and gross, and my back hurts.

i gotta say, memory foam is not my friend. I always feel half cocooned in it, hot and gross, and my back hurts.

maybe she’s hiding a tractor tire under that thing and this is some kind of “ALWAYS CROSSFIT” jam. cuz otherwise it looks like a kid wearing a bedspread as a bridal train.

she looks like she rolled around in glue and skittles before leaving the house.

i think this is the least anything i’ve seen qualify as a gawker network story

“yup.”

one day, buddy. one day you’ll grow the shit out of that moustache

the best thing to do with back hair is date chicks/dudes that like it.

turning down my mom’s busted shitbox 80s volvo. The story, some 25 years later, in my hometown is that i was such a weirdo i turned down a free car.

be more judgey of the boots than of the dog blanket he’s wearing as a scarf.

The perfect mate is a unicorn. Get over yourself, and this one’s key, understand that your partner is doing the same calculus you are. You’re going to have to settle for someone, or settle on being alone.

cue the Buzzfeed listicle:

because fuck going to school - if you’re not it by 6, fuck you entirely.

“i will hit you”

are BART cops real cops? like, in ottawa we have special constables for transit, but they’re not full officers and they don’t carry weapons. Is this similar, is this just some glorified security-guard acting big?

wouldn’t it be way more worrisome if men were looking for the same qualities in their offspring as in their lifelong domestic and sexual partners?

this is the only good argument against gay marriage i’ve ever seen.

i would watch a friends reunion, but only if they somehow worked into the friends’ characters’ back history the roles they’ve had since friends - ie “hey ross, i heard you didn’t do well in the military and got a job with NBC briefly” “chandler, sorry your wife tried to kill you in montreal and then you did a bunch of…

i mean, writing about this idiot just validates her at this point. she has nothing to contribute but idiocy, and shining a light on her when she says stupid things isn’t going to change that, but it may expose other idiots to a new stupid idea.

necrophilia-by-proxy?