Future crash safety ratings will be measured in hurts-donuts.

Much like Irish whisky, Irish indignation needs to be properly aged before it’s ready for consumption.

It’s so easy to learn how to drive stick in it too! Just put it in first and let off the clutch slowly. No throttle needed. Even better, you don’t have to shift to reach most road legal speeds! 60 mph in first if you really want. Or you can just start in second and teach them how to use a little throttle to take off.…

In Holyoke, Colorado, a vehicle with power windows is a luxury car.

I believe in #1, minus the 7 slots of course. A true Jeep competitor would need to actually have the features that make a Jeep a Jeep. Solid axles, manual transmission option, roll bar, removable top and doors. Anything short of those basic necessities, you don’t have a competitor to a Jeep. (See all other vehicles…

“You can barely get a good 2006 Range Rover now for $20k.”

“If he paid $3k extra, because it’s carmax, and I’m sure he did, he’s still behind.”

Coincidentally, I just invented the game “ex-car or ex-girlfriend.” It’s like jeopardy, but every question is one of only two answers.

Remember Mazda is also partnered with Fiat for the new 124. Its a down right multinational suck-and-fuck.

Fun fact: Anybody who writes or utters the phrase "I want the purity of my daughters protected" in regards to a bra commercial is going to be a grandparent at 35.

Tavarish is trying to get the inside track on some used Lambos.

Didn't you read the last column? The GT-R got turned away by customs so he got the next best thing, PT Cruiser.

Side pipes FTW! and here I was just about to pay the same kind of money for a CPO'd Toyota High-loser ... fuck hauling the kids around if I buy this thing they can go to college on the life insurance money!

Reliability ratings go out the window when you buy a car way below market value and non-running, taking the seller's word for something without doing a proper analysis of the car. It's not schadenfreude because I don't take enjoyment in his misfortune. I've consistently bought cars that others would consider…

Now here's the difference: When I take a risk, I acknowledge that I'm taking the risk and assume any negative consequences, should they occur. I bought a car non-running, failed to fix it, and took a financial hit because of my own mistakes and failure to accurately diagnose the car's issues, then wrote about it as a…

...TAVARISH?!?

I'm going to do that with an Aston Martin.

This was Vinnie's pride and joy in the early 1980s, perfectly complementing his collection of black Members Only jackets and gold nugget jewelry. Angela was happy to ride shotgun so long as the sun visor had a vanity mirror to make sure her hair mousse was holding up. The console was stocked with Aerosmith and…