Ugh.

And alll the things that were exciting and different

Six billionaires fake their own deaths to become a team of vigilantes who do goofy shit like magnetize a yacht in the first trailer for Michael Bay’s Netflix movie, 6 Underground starring the one and only Ryan Reynolds.

Katee Sackhoff will always be Starbuck to me. As will Dirk Benedict. They are both Starbuck.

“Classic movies”

Star Trek V is not a classic movie. No one, at all, was asking “What does God need with a starship?”

As a married man with kids, my wife is usually in bed by 10pm at the absolute latest most nights. So I have over two hours of unfettered Internet/online access to do whatever the hell I want. For nearly two months, my wife didn’t even know that I purchased and was playing The Division 2. He clearly made this a…

Wait, hold up. Did you just refer to The Wandering Earth as a gem? I mean, yeah, taste is subjective, but... I don’t even know how to finish this sentence...

The lack of American perspective is actually one of the most fascinating things

I, for one, noticed it. And of course watched it. I’m afraid to say this blockbuster is even more ridiculous than anything either Bay or Emmerich have ever come up with. We have: the sun turning into a red giant in 300 years because of reasons, earth being moved using impossibly large rockets, a “gravity spike” on…

My son was six when this came out and had seen some of the other movies at home, but got a little freaked out by some of the scarier scenes, so I didn’t take him to this one either. I saw it, drove home, told him and my wife to get dressed, and drove right back to the theater with them. I watched him instead of the…

It’s always been this way. The Maltese Falcon was made three times in ten years 1931 - 1941. The one we consider the classic was actually the last.

“Mussolini’s brand of Fascism didn’t really have a racial dimension until he started aping Hitler...”
*stares in Ethiopian*

My favorite fan theory is that Ant Man will make himself microscopic, then sneak into Thanos’ butthole, and then hit the expand button. War over. Nagasaki basically.

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

i think of myself as a fairly seasoned swear word user and hear-er, but when i saw In the Loop in the theater i straight up gasped like a schoolmarm upon hearing “allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet on your purview and ram it up your shitter with a lubricated horse cock”.

Richard E. Grant is the best at swearing...

There is but one answer:

They had sex in all the ways - doggy, on top, and normal. Then a hell beast ate them.