I like to cook up some diced pancetta so that it has only a slight crunch but still has some tooth, and sprinkle it over my risottos.

If I find something I won’t eat when I’m stressed I’ll let you know.

... do you live in the Libertarian bear village?

I’m all for pasture-raised chickens (I like to get my eggs locally), but I don’t see that Beckerman is basing her assertion on anything but conjecture. I also assume that pasture-raised eggs are better, but I was hoping to find out of that was actually the case here. I was disappointed. 

To me, the pastured eggs just taste better.  Even my wife, who really doesn’t give two shits about that sort of thing generally, can tell the difference.  Plus, pastured = not jammed in a battery cage.  

They’re better because they’re fresh. Supermarket eggs can be weeks old.

A lot of the colored eggs are by breed - we have a pet flock and get everything from the regular large white (White Leghorn, production bird) through rust brown (Blue Copper Marans) and blue green/blue (Whiting True Blues) and a bunch of others.

like spam musubi, but made with Impossible’s fake beef and fake pork

I was gonna go with a hard “no,” until I remember he looked a lot like this guy:

I mean, it can happen:

Elphie likes to scramble in and get comfy.

I’ve never seen this particular thing in person, but there are refrigerated vans that one could use if one was serious. I’ve also seen talk of door-to-door meat salesmen using a big chest freezer in the back of a pickup truck. I don’t know if it was being used as a very large cooler, or if they’d hooked up a power…

Schools with culinary programs that include butchering meat sometimes sell the student’s work. For various reasons, these can’t be sold in stores or be priced the same since there are lots of “odd” cuts.

Had a guy try this one on me when I was about 15 or 16-years-old. Pulls up in a tan cargo van with an “Omega Meats” logo on the side (even then I could tell it wasn’t a refrigerated van) in the middle of summer...dude had a ratty beard, long, enkempt hair, and this is look in his eyes like he’d been knocked-out one…

There’s no word on where, exactly, the man acquires his discounted meats. Does he patrol the supermarket butcher section in hopes of snagging a good deal? Did he... slaughter... something?

Do you also get an indecipherable, weirdly illustrated sheet of instructions on how to eat your chicken and chips? And do you get a wooden fork or an Allen key?

His cousin Sal Minella is a real piece of work.

I vaguely remember eating at a restaurant....

“It’s possible that pasture-raised eggs have more nutrients like vitamins A, D, E, antioxidants and omega-3 fatty acids when compared to conventional or standard eggs,”