Candy is a subset of sweets, often stuff that pretends to be chocolate but isn’t. Wine Gums and Turkish Delight are acceptable and time-honoured sweets.

When he gets home his wife is going to ask if he remembered the milk.

Maybe you went to the wrong chippy.

About two or three quid these days. Possibly more if I buy it at the deli in Betws.

Does the book have Artie’s rabbit recipe?

Does the book have Artie’s rabbit recipe?

Amazon does a Mr Whippy machine from about £140. I reckon Mr B will happily sell you one of those.

Have you had Smack Barm Pey Wet?

Since it was Glacier National Park I thought the bear ate all the mints.

The big Twitter thing here today was Amazon’s £3.99 air fryer.

Can’t zoom in on the pic to confirm, but while they say those are Heinz beans, but I suspect they are Bramwells. The cheapskate vandal is shopping/shoplifting at Aldi rather than going for the premium brand.

Bovril is the best in moments like that.

Do you take cream with your Cuppasoup?

Doughnuts need a blob of squirty jam in the centre.

I once had a very disturbing conversation with somebody who listened to the “Pepsi Station” 24-7. Never slept apparently. Drank lots of Pepsi. Obviously couldn’t distinguish the radio station from its sponsor. 

The pitch was promoting a $249 carry-on suitcase called the VinGardeValise Piccolo, and its sole purpose is to allow fancy travelers to transport wine bottles on their vacations.

We can do that.

An old friend used to work with a chap who ate Casey Jones morning, noon and night. 

Can we buy you a chip butty instead?

Fish Fingers anyone?

That might be the 35cl bottles.