The first paragraph makes me think of Beavis's review of Korn's "Blind."

@Steven Ansell: In regards to #3, I should also note a variant 3a: Parents whose names may be on the account of their children.

@Ouisch: Castle Crashers or Scott Pilgrim vs. the World make satisfactory modern substitutes.

@TheRealDoshu: Another vote for the arcade version of Moonwalker. It's a fun beat-em-up with several MJ hits as BGM.

@sandorasbox: So you're saying that the cake... is a lie?

@hntergren: Total protonic reversal?

@reddyroc: But if the president were kidnapped by ninjas, would your doppelganger be a bad enough dude to rescue him?

@Xusder: It wasn't stupid. It brought a tear to my eye.

@anteup lost her pizazz: While I didn't look at your link and therefore may be missing something, I do feel the need to note that the term "plastic surgery" is a very broad one. For facial plastic surgery, especially involving cheeks or jaw, a plastic surgeon with a dental background is actually preferred.

@JerseyGrrrl: Melanin is for skin color; melatonin is for sleep.

@Valkyrie607 is epistemically responsible: Love the gif.

@Daobaz: I've got mine right next to the Wonderflonium.

@ChrisPBacon: That's what I saw too.

It's a Metroid! Run for your lives!

@dgkz0idberg: Damn you.

@kevipants!: I suppose it says something about me that I was reading that looking for a smart-alecky acronym.

@joshuabond_007: In the event of a dildo, we do not imply ownership. It is "a dildo," not "your dildo."

@Decad3nce:

@Alternate: Same here, except with other substances instead of beer.

More proof that nobody wins in the War Against Tourism.