Her point is that just because a doctor is tall, it doesn’t mean all doctors are tall. I don’t really view what you said as you trying to assert a logical conclusion and I believe that’s the disconnect. I took it to mean you were saying that with the significant number of people on that site, there are probably a lot…

Ah no need to apologize, there’s been a lot of misunderstanding going on, I responded defensively. As for the zip code thing, I don’t think it’s evidence of anything, it’s just a lot of people signed up on that site, which is depressing. As a result of this, I hope that there are conversations going on that are…

Let’s try to clear this up even if the end result is we agree to disagree. I do not care if I am right or wrong, I am not trying to die on a hill for a quick comment I made and to which you seem to have taken great personal offense.

This is the post in question
“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous…

I have the deepest sympathy for those in open marriages who respectfully arranged to be discreet. They did not deserve this.

Agreed, completely. I’ve been really surprised by the vehemence over the hack here at Gawker.

JFC you’re full of yourself. I can’t speak to what someone else said but you seem fine doing so. I am going to copypasta so there is no confusion,

This social construct we’ve created is really destructive. The puritanical values that the general population seems to claim to embrace, really don’t mesh well with reality.

Regardless of what Dan Savage thinks, you are completely missing the point here. The point isn’t that the cheating is political in some way, it’s that most people exist within social constructs that have the potential to make it really difficult to be honest with themselves, let alone those around you. Immediately…

I have ONLY dismissed you and upthread I said I did.
So if you’re responding to what I actually said, please show me where I said everyone or where I mentioned anything about cheating.

It would be so great if people could just be honest. I’ve been with the same man for 14 years, we’ve been married 2. We have been monogamous and we have opened things up, we have an honest open dialog about what we want and need at any given time. Our friends don’t understand because it’s not exactly socially…

No, people are pressured into thinking that they have to be in monogamous relationships. At least in the U.S. Just because you can sleep around and do whatever you want doesn’t mean there aren’t millions upon millions of people ready to heap scorn on you for doing so. Puritanical views are extremely pervasive in our…

It’s true, a large number of people are perfectly happy in monogamous relationships. A large number of people are also unhappy with monogamous relationships. Humans aren’t inherently monogamous creatures, but we aren’t inherently polyamorous creatures either.

Except for society.. glorifying marriage, condemning cheaters and ‘slut shaming’ are all part of it. Not to mention the social engineering by governments by establishing incentives for marriages. Monogamy is not what we are genetically predisposed or historically inclined to do. Traditional marriage is a woman being…

That’s how I read the post as well, which is why I said I was hoping this situation would open a larger dialog. But man people are defensive. I don’t see gloriaestefanwasright advocating for people to cheat or excusing their behavior.

I don’t see where I said everyone.
It may not mean people are unhappy but they obviously desire something more than what they have, which does in fact indicate some level of dissatisfaction. But again, I didn’t say everyone.

No one is saying they aren’t. For fucks sake, what I am saying is that wrathful public accountability thing seems to breed more lying and deception in the first place. If we could accept that people do their best and a woman who allows her husband to have other sexual partners isn’t wrong then I bet we’d see a lot…

Right and the anger exists because people are CONSTANTLY pressured into thinking they MUST be monogamous. So much so that they agree to it even when they don’t think they are capable. This is the start - it comes BEFORE the lie.

“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous relationships”, I think with only 3 zip codes in the entire US not having someone registered, there are lots of people who claim to be happy in monogamous relationships.

I’ve been thinking that it would be great if this opened a greater dialog on monogamy and relationships. I mean how many of these people are Christians who think that marriage is between one man and one woman? I am betting the number is pretty high. Clearly what we say, is not what we do.

Newsflash - people have a really hard time being in long term monogamous relationships and society’s weird, unnecessary and CONSTANT shaking finger makes it harder for people to just be able to admit that to themselves, and find relationships that DO work for them. But SURPRISE when you guilt them into obeying…