I have an interview for Monday that, honestly, if I can’t get this job (I won’t get this job) I’m just going to give up on having a career and go work for the post office and try to figure out how the fuck to pay off my ISP/my credit card/my IRS bill/my student loans later. I’m feeling super not hopeful that I will…

Maybe contact an organization that works with survivors and see if they have a recommendation? I can’t do better than that, I hope someone has a really good suggestion.

The only research I have done on this topic is to be a moderate fan. It sounded like the issue was that he named his daughter after Harley Quinn, which ... dude, I am not going to critique that, as if I ever have children I plan to name at least one of them after a spacecraft, and also, please find me the…

Well, not to be all doom-and-gloom, but it’s incredibly unlikely that smoking at that level is going to harm him more than just living on this polluted crapfest of a planet, and he could get hit by a car at any moment anyway.

Thiiiiiiiis.

I live in fear that my parents’ pensions will be looted. Both of them are retired, but my dad’s company was already bought out (and the pension fund was a selling point...) and my mom’s is looking at a buyout in the next couple of years. I don’t even know if their pensions can be touched at this point and I still…

I’m having real trouble getting hired ever since the Recession tanked my last career. It’s an interesting shitshow made up of the fact I went back to school to retrain in a different industry which has actual demand, which I’m good at, but I’m older than average (and I’m still under 40) and have less of a portfolio of…

My vagina wasn’t tall enough to vote for Sarah Palin in 2008, and it’s not tall enough to vote for Hilary now. (Full disclosure: I will vote for the Democratic candidate whoever they be because we have a two-party system, and because the Republican clown car is full of FUCKING TERRIFYING SOCIOPATHS.) The idea that I…

It was all right, and not something I’d flip the radio away from if it came on, but the video killed it completely for me. I don’t think legends feel like they need to get away from their image (in Ariana Grande’s case that is certainly what was happening) by wearing lingerie and showing that a large group of men…

These two people were on a business trip for their employer. It’s less reasonable than most other situations to suggest that they are not representing their employer on this trip. I can’t judge too harshly on the drunk part, since the last time I went on a business trip, I spent most of it drunk or asleep, but I can…

I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that Rubio and the people associated with him are shitty tippers. (I would have paid money to watch one of his people fall into a koi pond. I would have paid a lot more money if there was a shark in there.)

So, constipated.

I have been told I have RBF (would agree) and yet, I am the person everyone asks for directions and tells their life stories to. And also, I am usually thinking of planetary destruction.

TIME FOR MORE DAYTIME DRINKING.

Oh get over yourself. Women have been drinking while pregnant since the dawn of brewing; the issue isn’t around ANY drinking, it’s around extremely excessive, alcoholic levels of drinking.

Also, lounging in my velvet pajamas, because I plan to one day topple completely off my rocker in jewels and fine, fine fabrics. Life is too short to not go big!

You could take a cue from Greg Proops and get ready to tell your grandkids all about how it cost thirty whole dollars to get a genital piercing during the Great Recession and you had to suffer for your individuality.

Her angriest Bentley, if I recall correctly.

I just ran across an excellent gin cocktail, and I have the ingredients, so I will join you, and fuck the fact it’s barely 9 am here.

Hold on, I need to get some pearls to clutch here.