I’ve been trying to get my fashion groove back. At 6’4” I’m going to stand out anyway so I might as well do what I want, but I currently work in a relatively conservative department in an academic setting, and it’s kind of killing me. I have enough joy after a couple of soul-crushing business casual years to want to…

Yeeeeeaaaaah. The insistence on pointing out (not just on Jez) that his “real” name is Piyush strikes me as othering. I mean, I have a friend who is trans but hasn’t changed her name legally yet - is her “real” name Steven or Emily (names changed)?

Well, they’re on YOUR property, so you have the right to do a lot of things. You could in fact ban them from your property, end of discussion.

I find that having a support network that is open to those things that are tough for others is helpful. I hope you have people in your life who you can be out with, and I hope that they help and support you. Be awesome, and know that sometimes other people aren’t awesome enough to know all of our stories and selves. :)

It’s made of white Battenberg lace in a tasteful swastika pattern.

Then in that case, I wouldn’t say anything to them and you probably totally have the right idea about talking to a therapist because those kinds of secrets just ooze their way out somehow and you don’t need to go share it with people who know your partner socially or be forced to hang onto it yourself. Good luck!

My mother means well when she checks in on me, but she goes into lecture mode REALLY FAST. So this is why I want unrelated strangers who get how much applying sucks around me. And also coffee with options of booze later because I want a goddamn medal for every fucking app.

I FEEL YOU. I haven’t quit, but I’ve documented my angst in previous SNSs so that’s enough of that. But man, if I could quit I would, but no one likes me enough to hire me so I can’t quit and then I turn into a puddle of salty water and then my boyfriend does his anxious-herding-dog thing and tries to get me…

I meant to do that (still have time, it’s not even seven here) but omg I am burned out from helping someone move in 90-degree heat and also from not getting callbacks/interviews/job offers/sparkleponies/whatever. Still, I have six jobs to app for and I will feel better if I get some of them done.

Depends on you and your partner. If you were my partner, I’d want to know and I’d be pretty calm about it (shit happens! Are you all right?) but then again, I am not the best model. So what’s your read on what your partner will do, and what’s your read on your needs? In other words, will it make things worse to tell…

I feel like if your mother’s reaction to your meltdown was to try not to hear you, you might not be the only person in your family with issues expressing yourself.

I’m 38, but most people who have to guess my age guess mid-twenties, even when they see me. It probably doesn’t help that when I have a desk of my own I have toys to put on it (I frequently need to concentrate the brain and it helps to just have a My Little Pony or Legos or whatever to have in my hands.)

You are absolutely not a coward. I know what you mean about wanting to live honestly - I have a really good relationship with my mother, but I know that if I tell her I had an abortion back in 2012 she will FREAK. OUT. (She is pro-choice, but not particularly tolerant on that issue and I am quite sure this would…

Well, the good news is that the easiest way to ever, ever, ever get anyone talking to you is to ask them about yourself. You could slide it in all casually - “oh, do you use Pinterest? I love it for X thing!” - or just be all “I checked out your Pinterest! This is really interesting stuff!”

My email is astormisclosingin@gmail.com - let’s chat!

38, Seattle, dudette, interested in friends.

Finally connected with a lawyer the other day regarding my employment situation (which, they still haven’t fired me formally, but you’d have a hard time convincing me it’s not coming). He’s adamant that I have no case, which I find so amazing I’m going to talk to one of the union-affiliated lawyers who may be presumed…

Correct! However, we don’t know the time frame of the original appointment, and it’s possible as someone else pointed out that the hospital was booked until several months out, with the expectation that as others canceled they would move appointments around. That’s what happened when I had to have a mammogram a couple…

When my mother did her residency in the fifties, there were two women on her ward who both had breast cancer. One of them had come in as soon as she noted the lump. The other found the lump in September or October but “waited till after the holidays” to be treated because she didn’t want to “ruin the holidays” for her…

Yes there was! I don’t remember if it was actually a person or just an idea, but I remember that the idea is that all women are pre-pregnant and so should be required to live their lives as though they are pregnant, because they could be at any moment. (I guess pregnancy doesn’t require a man to help with, it just…