Byron Leftwich will be on that list, just as soon as he completes his throwing motion on this pass he started in 2009.

“Groped five women? What’s the big deal (besides leaving witnesses)?”
-Craig James

Rhett Lewis: “Does that even make sense?”

He went out for some deep-fried lard and we changed the locks. We’ve got the phone off the hook and we’re staying away from the windows. Hopefully he just forgets his way back. Wisconsin’s far enough for me.

I’d give it all up to get my dad back.

Nope.

Weird that an Adidas product would fall apart so quickly.

45 and 45 BMI deserve each other.

ditto, i love gurps, so that jumped right out at me.

I LOVE that the game system is called DURPS.

Whit Merrifield, a 28-year-old second baseman who has yet to play a full MLB season. Despite that lack of experience, he’s been one of the team’s top all-around hitters.

We could explain this to you, but it will require a mathematician, a different kind of mathematician and a statistician…

She “became deceased?” Yeah, no. She was shot and killed by the cop.

You Don’t Have to Be a Fucking Stooge

I mean, I could almost buy this if one of his wish-list destinations were not Minnesota.

He shot a -38 in golf once...oh wait that was Kim Jong-Il.

...I’ll alert the burn ward that they have a patient on the way.

Chris Christie: [Uninstalls Steam]

Because that will give him an out, motherfucker doesn’t deserve an out. He’s been a shitty speaker for a while now, but he’s never had a real job (I could full stop right there) with real pressures that demands more time than he’s willing to give to anything but his ego. Fucker is frazzled, not demented.

Why are we not just calling this dementia? How is that not our first talking point in every argument???