Festival seating standing ovation.

Isn’t that the Lars von Trier movie with Kristen Dunst and Shaq where a basketball collides with the earth? (Okay, that’s the last time I drink all the NyQuil while flipping between Sundance and ESPN.)

I think if you just listen to Goldbach’s wife, she’ll clear this misunderstanding right up....

half of a bottle of Klonopin

I know some parts of it don’t hold up very well (the Cathy Moriarty subplot is disappointingly transphobic in a very early ‘80s sitcom kinda way) but that film owns a special place in my heart.  “Brake fluid. Bran fluid. Bran flavor....”

That’s been one of my favorite additions to gaming (more recently, but with some classic examples), this ecology — or at least a sense of ecology — where there are larger patterns, systems, behaviors that you fit into as a cog, and less a feeling that the “world” is just a proscenium facade for your experience as a…

Heading into this piece, I was expecting a rote run-down of Chiller’s mechanics, comparisons to Crossbow, maybe some obligatory Tipper Gore-ing thrown in for good measure. The interview with Vic Tolomei instantly made this one of my favorite Kotaku pieces in a long time — such a fantastic sense of legacy and…

+1 Melanie Ehrenkranz

Waiting for the Boston Globe to write something like “Melania is an Ishihara test of GOP feminism” or “Ofdonald is a Turing Test for the post-swamp establishment” or “Mrs. Trump is the SAT of modern Washington elites.”

If I remember correctly, the C-64 version of John Madden Football had a play editor (!) that was powerful enough that it relied on the honor system in a few places, especially when it came to men in motion. Not only could you send them toward the line, you could send them across it and deep into the backfield,…

Welcome home, Fahey! May you transform and roll out soon.

Eh, in this state, as long as you’re a Republican, you don’t even need a pulse to keep your seat. I think haranguing Jerry for every instance of his amphibian spinelessness would technically constitute harassment. Though, in lieu of his conscience, someone should.

Someone needs to scrape through the extant profiles and build a neural net to generate Tinder profiles. (Oops. Never mind. Looks like Tinder don’t like that.)

burger ● is ● fine

Bravo! This was like watching every Best-Picture-nominated film in a single night. I’ve watched Mark Dantonio disappear a thousand times and, if prompted, I shall watch it a thousand more.

Today I learned: you can’t care about a child if you don’t have one. If only that applied to a uterus.

I feel the exact same kind of inertia when something new “threatens” one of my old favorite apps, but with this level of performance boost (and the file view tab), I’mma have to give WizTree a try.

never forget

Great, underrated little flick. Was in my “watch at some point” list on Netflix forever until finally diving into it and immediately regretting not doing so sooner. Definitely recommended for those exploring the slightly-more-cerebral side of horror, linguistic wonks, and those sad and lonely souls who suffered…

Filed to: Mission Impossible: Moist Protocol