To be fair, the river did stare at that home run for a really long time.

The assholes who are blaming video games for Vanilla Isis can go fuck themselves with a rusty chainsaw. Those were two different grown ass men who wanted to lash out at non-White people because they feel entitled to everything and they’re terrified by their irrelevance.

Oh sure it looks bad, but that's only because you put exactly what they said into print with the appropriate amount of context around it to get across exactly what they were trying to say!

“As our nation mourns the senseless loss of life in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio and prays for the victims and their loved ones, we must also raise our voices in rejection of these heinous and cowardly acts of hate, terror and violence.”

Getting Joe Flacco when you need a franchise QB is like getting a can of shoe polish when you need to treat your baldness.

I’m from Denver. Lived here more than 45 years. Everything in this piece is true. I’m rooting for the Chiefs this year. Elway’s gotta go... like away, like “out of the state” away. Anybody want him? He’ll sell you mortgages. You’ll love it. No takers? It’s gonna be a looooong 2020 decade, I guess.

I know you’re just teasing him, but Elway has proven time and again that he’s the glue that holds this team together. 

Joule thief!

Whatever you’re paying that graphics guy, it’s not enough. 

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

His will names Empress Ivanka I as his successor!

this is how you get president ivankur.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Every time I cringe at my own predilection for mentioning my academic credentials as if they lend weight to anything other than my ego (and mostly, they do not), I’m going to look at that, “...rather than what you have now, so good looking and smart! A true Stable Genius!” tweet and remind myself…

I haven’t seen that many empty swings since Terminator 2.

Speaking of that, when again will the robots take over? I’d like to put together a little welcome basket and have it ready.

It’s just like my dad always says...
*three minute voicemail of ambient traffic noise and AM radio*

One thing I hate about writers is when they write something that causes a swift and broad backlash, and their defense is “You misunderstood what I meant,” as if that is a valid defense for a person whose job it is to convey ideas to third-parties via the written word. I write for a living, and if someone who is…

As much as I hate to say it, this looks like a set up. We all know that Alex Jones only gets hard when the kids are dead.

Header image looks like an alien wearing a Hope Solo skin suit a la Edgar in MIB.

Nearly 100% of car accidents involve tires as well.