He doesn’t even have to be in the room to be the dumbest guy in the room.

Hey girl, I saw you from across the room and noticed you’re not with anyone so I was wondering if I could buy you a dri-

Can’t decide what genre of music you’re in the mood for?

In this era of uncertainty, it nice to wander in here and confirm that the comments for this article are exactly what I expected them to be.

If the US meets Canada, I hope the Americans win 14-0 and after every goal the whole team hangs their heads and wanders dejectedly back to kickoff positions without interacting at all.

Smurf Trampoline sounds like a particularly filthy sex act.

I used to enjoy taking a leisurely stroll around my city, but no longer. Inexperienced riders who have no concept of etiquette are constantly weaving in and out of pedestrians on the sidewalk with no regard for anyone.

Adventures In Wrongness:

So if I agree with Mr. Adams’ position it’s the Free Market at work, but if I disagree it’s censorship? That’s how a child argues.

I just went back over all my bills going back to 2010 and these extra fees added nearly $300 over six years. Starting at $1.99, every year it would go up $1 per month and every year — for some reason — the fee categorization jumped back and forth, alternating between “Additional Products and Services” under Miscellaneo…

Given that he spent the first 70 years of his life caring for nothing but himself and money, why wouldn’t he suddenly change his entire worldview and base all his policy decisions on what will benefit hard-working blue-collar real-American citizens?

During media interviews he sounds like a dementia patient — dragging out his sentences to stall for the right word, then blurting out something that makes no sense.

To the bald dude’s credit, he found a way to simultaneously project the only two aspects of his entire identity by combining them into one ugly jersey.

It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of fans.

Taking bets on whether the highlight of his entire presidency was that one time he didn’t act like a petulant child and managed to pretend for an entire hour that someone other than himself deserves the spotlight.

Serious question: Are there any rules limiting what a pitcher can do before a pitch? Could someone rotate through the various Arrested Development chicken dances and claim “that’s what I have to do to prep for the pitch”?

NEVER ALWAYS put salt in your eyes.

No, Mike Suckabee “plays” bass.

Just as jarring as the obvious visual incongruity is the fact that the instrument of choice of this “bass player” is a stock Squier P bass. This ludicrously wealthy charlatan is playing the absolute cheapest bass available — a beginner’s instrument a 12-year-old would play when just starting out that retails for about…