Additional thought: People watch C-SPAN?

Artie was just live tweeting a 4chan message board, you guys. It's called comedy.

#notallyaks

"I'm several decades older than you but it doesn't stop me from thinking about you when I fap. What does stop me is your physical appearance. Please restore yourself to your former fappability at once, because this is the primary purpose of a newspaper columnist."

Jordan is trash-talking, which is a whole nother art form. It's like using a baseball bat instead of a scalpel - but that's not something Jordan would know much about.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Hang on, and I know you will recover your health and find love.

Have you ever used a vibrator when the batteries are really, really dying and you have to work extra super hard to finish but you're too lazy to get up and look for new batteries? And you finish and you're like "ugh that was lame" and you're kind of ashamed for getting off on a wonky, dying vibrator? That's what sex…

Actually, it's about ethics in football journalism.

Okay, this might be unpopular, and I understand if you ignore it. But I really dislike this post. Like, a lot.

I got married a year ago, and at the time I found there to be quite a bit of anti-wedding bias on the Jezebel editorial staff; a good deal of the wedding-related posts were mocking traditions or, worse,…

Mr. Rogers and Bill Nye. They are fucking saints.

maybe yes, maybe no... but standing up and calling out rape culture is something i would never condemn.

Never go to the DMV without an appointment. Any time I've gone with an appointment, I'm in and out in less than 45 minutes. Without one? Days.

You cannot name a magazine she has not been in !!!!!!!!!!!1111

"Filed to: I THINK THAT SECOND PICTURE IS LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL ME"

COOL GIRLS DON'T GLOAT PRIDE IS A SIN BE HUMBLE ARGLE BLARGLE!!!!!

Maybe she could be the first baby leather leggings designer who is actually a baby.

Maybe his full name and address don't need to be made public here?

Fuck that. I will never forgive my fiancé for not being able to sparkle in the sunlight and live forever. It's called standards.

Let me take this opportunity to say that FITZ IS THE WORST. I try to say it as many times as possible so the world shall hear.

"We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest." http://www.mc…