There wasn’t a dry abdomen in St. Louis that entire year! It was a rare sight when Nathaniel “Dry Belly” Lintcoffer missed a start for the first time ever because he refused to leave his house.

I too believe that it’s okay to have a good screw out in the open. Let everyone see!

I will not dispute the baseball prowess of the great Bobson Dugnutt, but to me he will always be “the man who failed to pry a line drive ball out of the jaws of an angry lion.” The world lost interest in Bobson Dugnutt that day. Mike Truk, on the other hand, he was one hell of a baseballer AND locomotive puller.

My great uncle Hironomus “Horseshoes” Bridge was in attendance at the Great Baseball War and can bear testimony to the absolute bludgeon machine that was “Chubs” Rockney. Hironomus himself lost his entire left arm when a piece of Chauncey “Candlefingers” Ridgemiddle’s skull flew into the spectator’s area and cleaved…

He was good, but he was no Spanks Fairclothes. He once threw out 27 basemen in a single 34-inning game on a field made entirely of mollusk shells. That was when baseball was a real game.

This is like suing Hasbro because your GI Joe didn’t come with plastic clips for its plastic rifle.

Ah yes, I remember of the Horse Thing of 1988.
Most controversial legislation since 1974's Mule Doohickey.

Part of me feels like you picked this one just so you could make proper use of the word “valise.”

I really appreciate the sentiment here, but please do not “Gently push the accelerator at green lights”.

GM’s Lt-1 engine with OptiSpark distributor. The “distributor” is integrated into the front of the engine behind the water pump. Any issues with it (And they didn’t make them well so there were tons of issues with it) required you to disassemble the front of the engine to replace it.

The big tube exploded right after passing 69 on Big Beaver. Made a mess all over the road. A real sticky situation. Good thing the barrier stayed erect.

If a bike ride through Japan brought this on, I can’t imagine what would happen if she took a bike ride through a junkyard in Arizona.

I live in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. We have a lot of bridge-tunnels. Traffic always backs up, but it’s not claustrophobia - it’s way more dumb. People don’t notice the end of the tunnel is a grade that requires you to speed up. Simple letting 10mph shave off at the end of the tunnel, (plus not throwing on…

Stick a quarter in the slot and turn a couple of times for a boost of around 8 HP.

People who leave too much distance between themselves and the car in front of them at a stop light. I’ve noticed it’s often because they’re on their phones and not paying attention, but if you reduce that distance to something reasonable you may be the difference maker for someone trying to get into the freaking right…

Enthusiast friends will be annoyed with me for this, but hands down the nod goes to my ‘65 Corvair’s air-cooled flat six. Where do I even start? The most questionable piece of engineering had to be the fan belt - the pulley is on the rear of the engine and the fan is flat on top of the engine. That means the belt has…

I think the problem can be traced back the fact that while the car is pretty Meh, it has the most awesome f**king name ever bestowed on a sedan. It sounds like it would slice a bitch in half over a parking space. It sounds like it’s rarety stems from the fact that it silently murdered everyone once factory assembly…

I was in high school in 1989. My father bought a red 1990 Miata when they were brand new and red hot. He had to compete to buy it and he had to purchase it before it even made it to the dealership. He would let me drive it on the weekends when he was out of town, so of course I would take it to where everyone in my…

For me, it’s the recent (maybe decade-old) revelation that the Toyota Camry now has more horsepower than most of the cars in the muscle car era. I drive a 1968 Cutlass and a 1989 Firebird. I can’t tell you how many people like to point out you can get a Camry with more horsepower.

Just like the mail truck to insist on being on top.