Even if you want to go by location instead of function, This would put the butthole at the equivalent of the car’s thigh. No car has had a solid butthole location since license plates folded down.

This totally reminded me of the old joke about the border cop:

Rob Lowe used one of these to wash Chris Farley after the cow-tipping scene in Tommy Boy. Clearly not enough people on Tik Tok have watched Tommy Boy.

Looking forward to you flying to Hawaii and wrenching in this puppy to get it in shape so you can drive it back from Hawaii to Detroit. I will watch every video if you figure out how to make that happen.

As the owner of a 1968 Olds Cutlass, I can tell you that the siren call only gets worse the bigger the engine gets. 

This would be incredible if you wanted to supplement your income by doing some deliveries on the side.

Simple, but effective: Had a friend of mine in the passenger seat while I was pulling into the parking space right next to his truck. When I got close enough to the truck, I slammed on the brakes to make it feel like I hit his truck when I was really still more than a foot away from it.

Knee Steering:

I paid $500 for a 1963 Corvair Monza 900 convertible. I knew it was a project, but I wanted a project Corvair and it looked fairly solid at first glance. I probably should have glanced a bit closer. I started stripping paint off and there was nothing under the paint but a hodgepodge of poorly done metal patches, bondo…

I can’t even begin to underscore the value of being able to explain this level of preciseness exactly how much bend, flex, sheer and load your wood can take.

So it drew a dick, then got stuck in the mouth of the Suez and there aren’t enough seamen with enough thrust to push it out. And the longer it’s in there, the more screwed we are...

Spent a bunch of time on my 1980 Triumph Spitfire trying to diagnose why it was leaking clutch fluid. Replaced the slave cylinder, the line, and finally the culprit - a bad clutch master cylinder. This took a while to diagnose but was relatively easy to fix. I bled the system, got a new tunnel cover, added a gasket to…

Lol - It’s one-way. And I’ve seen people do that, terrifying the hell out of me.

I’m also fairly agnostic on this - I don’t mind people backing into spots with one exception - When the spaces are angled to favor people pulling in nose-first. The parking garage at my office is set up like this and I still see people try to back (impossibly) into these spaces. When the space is angled, it makes it…

Didn’t switch out the cam. I didn’t drive it hard or take it off road, so I never really had the chance to see if that engine would hold up doing truck stuff. Besides, it was a very ugly Bronco. It was light tan on light tan.

Oh yeah. That’s mine. I remember - mine was red. That has to be mine.

A friend offered up an ‘87 Bronco for $250 and was very up front about the fact that the engine was blown. I had always wanted a Bronco, so I figured there wasn’t much risk in buying it for $250, then finding a low mileage 5.0 V8 to replace the blown engine since those engines are ubiquitous. After a long search, I…

How many cubic centimeters of chocolate pudding fit in the trunk?

I started to write a smug post about how they can’t track my 1968 Olds Cutlass, but there’s no such think as going unnoticed when you drive a 1968 Olds Cutlass, so I have no real advantage here.

Defense Attorney: I move that we dismiss this case due to lack of evidence.
Judge: We have multiple videos of your client crashing into cars and acting intoxicated. What does the prosecution have to say?
Prosecuting Attorney: I’m here. I’m not a cat.