No. It doesn’t. The phrase is “good healthcare and a 401k.”

Ramsey Lewis Trio, “The ‘In’ Crowd”

These things can deteriorate the ship’s structural integrity eventually but more importantly, they mess with its hydrodynamics causing it to run slower and burn more fuel.

I agree with that, but the statement “we have ... a 401(k)” suggests its very existence is grounds for praise.

And “he doesn’t fire anyone” might mean 10-15% COLAs every year!

“For us, by us” tampon purveyor:

The best bosses allow people to . . . keep their own money?

I expect the President to tweet soon about how the European Diving Championships are rigged against American divers.

Can I at least get, like, a higher commission, since it took me 5-1/2 years to finish college?

Not only that, but an especially light sentence for a guy with two Pryor offenses!

There’s the time Jethro Tull got the Grammy award for best heavy metal performance, over, among others, Metallica and AC/DC.

Hyperlinking Occam’s razor with a link to Wikipedia?  Give your audience a little more credit!

Ah, America's pastime -- being dumb online. 

I think we can all agree that, as long as there’s enough infrastructure to produce NBC’s gauzy, heartstring-plucking athlete profiles-in-courage, it doesn’t matter where the actual events take place.

You should probably remind your daughter that she, too, is a renewable resource.  Might help keep her in line.

I’m into interval training.  I like to alternate between 1,000-meter runs and, well, 2019, so far.

Oh sure, you say that, but where the hell do you get your bloomin’ onions, huh?

Legally, under U.S. law and international charter, oversight of the team, including its involvement in Olympic competition, would revert to ‘80s pop-metal favorites Night Ranger.

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…