To help speed up play, the Phillies have announced they will forfeit every game this season.

I had to stop and adjust my balls halfway through reading this.

.

He couldn't have just brought a bottle of vodka in?

John Tortorella on Tampa radio station today. Said with his free time, he's been trying to develop his own system/formula for advanced #'s.

The Cleveland Browns are the ugly friend the New York Jets bring to the bar to make themselves look hot.

I get it and all, but for some rival Little League president to complain like that seems smarmy as all hell.

I'm still trying to figure out how Tenacious D got the Grammy for Metal.

At least they got the Kings logo correct this time.

I now have the sudden urge to re-watch The Hobbit.

Is it known what those on-field iPads Microsoft Surfaces can and can't do? Can those send messages?

Well that blows. They'll probably use Buccigross or Steve Levy then. In the meantime I'll just make a loop of Gary screaming "KEITH PRIMEAU!!" while I silently weep.

More Gary Thorne broadcasting hockey is a win for everybody.

Because when somebody fucks one up it's the most majestic sight in sports. Leave my unicorn alone!

Four words: Twitch Plays Pro Bowl.

Cute kid, but oh my god stop touching the signatures

Counterpoint:

Ditka