And if you think taking pics is how you get hits, oh well, do the twist.

If you think that a pitch is all in the wrist, mama, you got it all wrong

Do not google image search necrotizing fasciitis

An MRA outburst

Because he's a piece of shit?

Yyyyyikes.

More like Alex Dong.

I have a daily battle with MONGAF.

Reminds me of Katt Williams:

But it won't happen for another 100 years! Just like 7/22/14!

Conscious unrostering.

Won't somebody think of the Tebow!

I don't know if I pity or envy your sense of humor.

You know, the "too ugly to abuse/be abused" joke is trite, unfunny, and hurtful.

"It was a coping mechanism." Bullshit. Bulllllllllshit. That's not how you apologize. This is how you apologize:

Sadly, that's probably a big chunk of it. That and some HILARIOUS Halloween costumes.

I thought mentioning religion during an interview was a big no-no for almost any job. An employer could get in much more trouble, but a potential employee could definitely be passed over if they said in an their interview for "As a married, American, Roman Catholic I think I'm an ideal candidate."

John Matuszak, the actor who played Sloth, was picked first in the 1973 NFL draft by the Houston Oilers. He also won two Super Bowls with the Raiders. Then he said, "Heeeeeyyy yooouuuu guuuuuyyys!"

Brunch, I would tell you to just never have sex, but it would be too easy, and you wouldn't get my point.

Damn, that's a sexy fox.