Something something pussies, something something real sport.

Every home should have one muzzle-loaded, smooth bore flintlock, just like the signers of the constitution. Very few accidents with those guns.

What about headers? Fellaini!

If you're a Mexico fan it was.

Yup, nearly killed my cousin. Ruptured. Spleen.

Ooooh! Cheese on hand means available cheese. I was picturing a situation where you look at your cheez covered mitt and go "Well, this is a turn on."

Wisconsin, birthplace of the progressive movement, the great north woods, I love you. Don't do this to me. Don't move backward, move...

Dude, you would love Janelle Ambrosia. You've got so much in common:

This is why teens shouldn't listen to all that hippity hop that glorifies stud life. If only they knew the reality of stud life...

These are the kinds of adults that Roald Dahl wrote about: humorless bridge trolls.

That's Milorganite:

Lots of those up nort' towns have businesses (bars) that are fairly empty until this time of year when all the FIBs go on vacation.

Better than Palin around with bears.

"I'll take 'Condescending Pricks' for 1000"

Well I guess I'll just send my donation to a super PAC, then. At least we know they are not for profit.

I was with Gwen until... "It's almost, like, how in war..." No. It's not.

Great article, Madeleine. Touched on some of the same stuff discussed in this NPR story from yesterday that has been on my mind all day.

[The guests] were meant to feel special, but they were herded like sheep and treated like prisoners."

I know we're not doing cartoons, but Duck Tales and Chip 'n Dales Rescue Rangers are both top notch theme songs.

Were the hot dogs watery or was the gas watery? Need to know for self diagnosis.