Haha I'm imagining like Sheryl Sandberg being introduced by Zach Efron and she pulls him out on stage and is like "OMG I injured my clit masturbating to you in 17 again, wore that sucker right out!"

Jane Fonda looks this good because she has great genetics, eats right, drinks a lot of water, exercises a lot, and seems to have finally come to a peaceful, contented place in her life.

VERY IMPORTANT

None of those things are mutually exclusive with constant erections. For a teenage boy almost nothing is mutually exclusive with constant erections.

The key is little bits over and over again. Things looked botched when you try to do it all at one time and fix it in one fail swoop. You have to touch yourself up over the years. She has the same plastic surgeon as people like Diane Sawyer. Never too severe but just looking goddamn refreshed.

Jane Fonda is a damn good actress.

You know who has really great skin? Beck.

Actually, at that time—until the mid-80s and Cher, really—all the celebs just bought dresses off the rack and did their own makeup for the Oscars. (ETA: Occasionally, a costume designer they worked with would make something up for them—like in the Edith Head studio days.) Many of them talk about it—Meryl Streep, Jodie…

Like, what do 15-year-old boys do other than eat and get constant erections?

To have stitches in it, at that age...bad. Very bad.

"I'll smoke pot every now and then. I cannot see a movie on pot. The number of movies I've seen thinking, This is probably the best I have ever seen, and then I'll see it again sober and think, What was I thinking?"

Getting circumcised at 15 seems like exactly the worst thing to do.

I've been the teenage girl in this situation twice; once was totally effed up, the other was lovely. I agree that it is possible.

Ima give you a pass because you're a sports journo, but it 's "run the gauntlet." Not the "gamet."

This medication has to be taken every day, not just before sex.

Lady Viagra, a 19th century virago of unfortunate sexual appetite, later went on to lead a pirate ship off the Libyan coast. After capture, she faked a pregnancy and escaped to Port Royal, where, after successfully running a granny-brothel, she went on to marry a plantation owner 40 years her junior.

Please watch Orgasm, Inc. This is part of a long-running effort to pathologize perfectly normal sexualities in women, and make billions of dollars doing so. One company claims that 43% of women have "sexual disfunction" on the basis that they had sex without orgasm at least once.

Please, God, let this be approved for all of us crazy people. I currently take a hefty anti-depressant, mood stabilizer, and the occasional anti-psychotic or benzo. My libido can't find its own asshole.

Yes, but Portlandia is not a documentary series...