What the fuck did you even just try to type? Did you have a stroke?

Let’s compare notes when we’re done.

Do you think Splinter intentionally uses the worst pictures of AOC they can find or does she just constantly look like her eyes are about to explode out of her head?

I can say that spending time, money, and effort to apologize to Native Americans for something that happened 200 years ago seems pretty fucking pointless and like worthless virtue signaling when compared to..you know..real problems.

Why are you so racist? Calling them “brown people” is deeply offensive.

What, you want him to actually say Alexandra Nina Pinta Santa Maria Ocasio-Cortez? Her name doesn’t exactly roll off the fucking tongue.

Their next study’s purpose will be to determine if drinking “really is fun.” I’m pretty sure 2000 years of human history has already told us it’s a blast.

Progressives definitely love The View. Why wouldn’t they? It’s just a bunch of bitchy has-beens lambasting their Republican co-host and Republicans in general for an hour.

You must be a blast at parties.

That..that just doesn’t make any sense. “WE HAVE MORE PEOPLE SO OBVIOUSLY A BIGGER PERCENTAGE WOULD BE HOMELESS, DUH!” I mean, if California was so great and liberals ran utopias there would be less homeless. And, you know, the myriad other cancers the state has growing within it wouldn’t exist either.

I’ll allow it if the entire place is just robots delivering packages to people.

That’s like asking “Which would you prefer, cyanide of strychnine?”

FUCK YEAH, protest Independence Day! GREAT LOOK! Buddy, your fascism is showing.

JEFF BEZOS WILL FIX YOUR FLINT WATER. COMING SOON: AMAZON PLUMBING.

You might want to check the numbers on that one, buddy.

WE SHOULD GIVE THEM CONTROL OF THE JUDICIARY AND EXECUTIVE TOO!

Whatabout CA and NY are toilet states?

Nothing, because I don’t live in a literal toilet wasteland. What are you doing about it?

Oh, I totally missed the sarcasm. Go me!

Got ‘em!