I hope that they are convicted and are registered as sex offenders.

Psh, nice try. We all know that the REAL DANGER is from those scary trans people just trying to pee.

I want to name and shame every person that voted for this piece of shit.

Because you’re old and had shitty teachers who taught history as shitty Cold War propaganda.

“I was scrutinized a lot of my life because so many people took photos of me sneezing (snorting coke), looked like I was crying (snorting coke).”

I’ve been working at a coffee bar in a store that serves a lot of celebrities and ridiculously rich people and this sounds like the kind of small talk I have to maneuver my way through far too often. It’s as uncomfortable in real life as this scene makes it look.

She voted to fund DHS as a whole until February, not ICE in particular. There are thousands of DHS employees who are working without pay. I don’t think agreeing to short-term funding for an entire department is a show that she’s dropping a campaign promise. It just means she’s not willing to stick it to ICE at the…

Boy oh boy that was a heartstopping headline. Way to get the clicks, Hazel!

*looks at Chris Brown* Hope you’re next!

For the past two years President Dipshit has been blathering on like an idiot about how Mexicans are rapist-terrorist-murderers until last night and suddenly he’s all worried about the poor little brown babies.

Voting is like driving. R to go backwards, D to go forward. 

Oh, yeah, you got such a great deal. Early adopters paid $8 for a pointless skin that serves no purpose in their AAA video game, but you only paid $4 for a pointless skin in a AAA game. It’s such a steal how could you pass it up?

Talk about being late to the punch lol this was headlines like 2 weeks ago.

Let’s not forget that Mike Pence is a soulless, money-grubbing hypocrite who told his devoted, rabid conservative listeners that it’s not clear if tobacco causes cancer...in 2000.

“He acquiesces entirely to the will of Trump 100 percent of the time.”

Mike Pence is like that Survivor contestant that keeps their head down and tries not to make waves for the first few weeks to avoid being targeted for elimination, and then gets eliminated anyway because he wasn’t very good at the game to begin with.

Calm the fuck down, January; we still have a whole year of horror to endure.

I would much rather have Bernie use his political capital and goodwill to take on apprentices for the next generation of politicians—especially those starting small and not already in the federal government—than run for President again.

It’s becoming difficult to keep track of all the sexual predators in her orbit.

Who doesn’t have a manslaughter charge in their past? I tripped on a banana peel and the knife just fell into his crotch. The judge understood. That’s why I'm only doing 8 years.