I started shoplifting shortly after I became homeless. I left an abusive relationship, I was living in a shelter, and when I did get a job the shelter restricted how much of my cheques I could spend to the point where I couldn't get food or new shoes when mine broke because all my money went to bus fare to get to…

Compare this to what happens when Stephen Harper tries:

America,

I feel like that would be weird.

OH MY GOD why can I not star this more than once :(

But but but. Cod tongues are tasty as fuck.

YES. GET BATISTE. It is the shit. I really love the tropical scent.

I really prefer Batiste. I found Klorane leaves my hair feeling kind of stiff, and I don't get that with Batiste. Plus, pretty smells!

Okay but what I REALLY care about is that metallic purple lipstick. If that's part of her line I SUPPORT GIMME GIMME.

I've read excerpts, and my god it is almost like a negative image of My Immortal. It made me hurt.

She just needs somebody to knit her wee puppy sweaters :)

Yay for rescue puppies! This is Mousie. She's an 8 year old Chi, and I swear nobody believes her age because she's so full of beans. I got her from somebody who was going to surrender her to our city's Animal Services, but they apparently told him she might get put down because at almost 8 she had never been to a vet.…

I just want to say that I'm not really okay with ANYBODY dressing as clowns.

Hey Mike Tyson:

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's about as intelligent as dryer lint. I think that's the issue more than anything else. He looks a bit like Justin Long, who I think is cute, but because he seems both stupid and boring he's totally unattractive.

I saw him in person when he was doing some promo stuff for Girls a while back. I'd never heard of him before. He came across as both pretentious and stupid, and I thought he was just really unpleasant. I don't know what other people see in him. But then, there's people who even think Chris Brown is hot. Not saying…

/gouges out eyes

WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS HAVE TO POST PICTURES. GAAAAAAH

Holy crap, how have I never heard of this flavour? It sounds soooo tasty.

Birthday cake vodka and Dr Pepper is the shit. Just saying.