And speaking of Luann...

I was in a Chili’s waiting to get my results...

She had such an aesthetic in the early days. All she wore were tight satin dress shirts or lingerie dresses that made her boobs look way saggy. Paired with diamond hoop earrings, acrylic French manicure, and drinking chardonnay INSIDE HER BENTLEY CONVERTIBLE IN A STRIP MALL PARKING LOT as she listened to her own songs.

Back in the halcyon days of Big Poppa.

Kim. Some people want to be her, some people want to be with her. I just want to be her lawyer. I could get a boat.

500 Days of K was one of them fake secret societies. They’re the best secret societies.

This is what happens when non-politicians take over. They have no f’ing idea how any of this works. This idiot didn’t even know his financial disclosure form would be..disclosed.

Epic.

Now the shit pudding can hit the fan - if the sale of his hedge fund to the Chinese collapses, it proves his appointment was motive for a Foreign Corrupt Practices Act violation. If the sale goes through , but for one cent less than the previously announced $90million, it proves the same, because he’d be accepting…

It’s better than The apprentice could have ever hoped. This is like heartbreak, anger, and all the LOLs stuffed into a single 24-hour news cycle! A real tragicomedy for the ages.

I’d do it mainly to trick him into giving me the pee tape.

I’d rather suck my own cock.

This elicited a hard shudder from me. Those are the worst of all penises. Ugh.

I’d stick my dick in his mouth just to shut him up...

I do too but it’s because I usually say yes

Yes, you should be ashamed of yourself.

No! You’re not. Are they hair models?