Nope. Rice is Chinese and China is using global warming hoaxes to advance their sinister agenda.

I unabashedly like Courtney.

So true. From her tiny role in Sid and Nancy (she of course wanted to play Nancy Spungen), to The People Vs Larry Flint, she has brought something special to each role.

I’m looking forward to her new movie (Lifetime later this month) in which she plays Kitty Menendez (mother of Lyle & Eric). As messy as she is, she’s a damn fine actress when she pulls it together every few years to actually work.

Great update, you’ve taught me a lot about where the UK is right now. While you’re trudging off in the rain to vote on Thursday, we’ll be listening to the former director of the FBI testify on his meetings with Trump. And possibly drinking. Never a dull moment.

what kind of rock are you living under, ivee? haven’t you ever seen anyone inaugurate a global center for combatting extremist ideology in riyadh before? sheesh.

You just know that fucker was standing there making a wish.

Please give us more Slack screenshots like this!

In the continuing absence of Mortem, it’s time for Tuesday’s UK roundup.

Who else is Drunk Me going to use as a low-rent therapist while I wait for my campus counseling center to bump me off the waiting list?

The sad thing about your incisive anecdote?

They are the worst drivers! And it’s more of a mess in winter, because everyone says “it’s okay, I have snow tires!” Bitch you can’t drive when the roads are clear—don’t pretend you’re magically competent now!

It’s always been evident that driverless cars were the end goal for Uber and other ride-sharing services

Considering that 50% of the licensed population can’t seem to figure out how to navigate a four way stop sign, my answer is yes. I would absolutely get into a driverless car.

I would give up driving in a heartbeat. And I’ll do anything to take control away from the people the State of Utah has seen fit to “license.”

In theory: yes.

Hell yeah. I’d take one of these. Sing your goddamn lungs out to the radio.

I cannot believe that nobody at a Midtown Manhattan-based organization said, “You know, this name is a bit too similar to American Idiot. Maybe we should try again.”

If I wanted to sleep at an Applebee’s, I would just sleep at an Applebee’s.