That’s why I let Siri on my iPhone do my texting for me. Here is a small sample of the txts I have sent today:

Salutations to the Have family followers,

I think you should really check in to all of the possibilities before you make a decision like that. It also sounds like you need to talk to your BF too. Sooner than later if you ask me, sounds like he might object.

I keep this on my "epic" list.

I'm sorry, but who doesn't like a few Hores in the building.

I'm so sick of those dang sperm thieves!

How can you be so astounding? I sometimes hate how amazing you are.

We are going to need more Vaseline...

That is so funny! The exact same thought came to my mind. I just see a horde of homeless scientists, standing around with beakers, half full of loose change.

let's see if anger worked....

Responding to test de-pink.

It's crazy I know, but I love bad movies! My friend and I have some of the best running commentary in the world. We plop right down in the front and destroy.

I'll still watch it. I like my Sci-fi too much not to.

That's great! I could also make a few more things pee-worthy too I guess. Sting rays, Sea star (star fish) bites, and clam poising.

I have heard Santorum is an excellent cure for lots of things, now also the common cold it seems.

The creepiest De-pink of all time! Thanks, twice! ;-)

Everybody just hold on one damn second! I have been using the jellyfish move for years just to be peed on in public. Now if you go telling everyone to stop, what am I going to do? Craigslist? I think not, way to contrived! I like my peeing on to be spur of the moment, while pretending to be in agony, thank you very…