Dear Red State Friends Thinking About Voting For Gary Johnson:

Man, it’s so much fun that this guy is going to dominate the news cycle for at least a couple more weeks after having killed exactly zero people when another woman-targeting serial killer was just picked up in Ohio who has so far been connected to 5 deaths.

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

Donald Trump: “Who’s Tiffany?”

#tiffanyslivesmatter #notalltiffanys

Tiffany Trump, because someone has to take the picture.

Tiffany Trump

The Concourse is now Gawker-lite for better or worse. Just accept it.

“Sorry sweetie, only daughters who are hot enough for Daddy to bang gets a detail. Protection is for winners.” —Trump DM

I have a feeling her ghostwritten memoir is going to be something to behold someday.

Beheld. Not beread.

It’s really got to be hard to be your father’s second choice for a date.

Mine too, except it is my gun loving racist dope of a cousin posting the same shit.

Aaand cue the Racist Uncle (TM) posts on Facebook in 5....4....3....2....1....

I am already avoiding my conservative coworkers because I cannot engage with them today since the conversation will turn to “terrorism”.

i think the real fear and the real danger here is that the trump campaign will tie this to not only radicalized islam, but democratic party policy, so as to embolden the torch and pitchfork party into claiming he’s the only one who can protect us from such attacks.

The only reason that this “terrorize” me is because of the impact it may have on the election. 

If this is the best foreign terrorists have got, I am not even remotely in terror of them. All the people injured in Chelsea are already out of the hospital. None of the people stabbed in Minnesota died. Nobody was hurt with their unexploded bombs.

He could have leaked a sex tape with Queen Elizabeth this summer and he still wouldn’t have beat Courtney Vance.

How much do you think T. Hids regrets hopping on the T. Swift manufactured relationship machine this summer now that he didn’t win an Emmy?

Um, maybe she was distracted because she lost her father on Friday?