In response, God issued the following statement:

Women are fucking nasty. Learn how to wipe your fucking ass the right direction so you don't get shit all in your vag.

People don't know how to wipe, or take care of their genitals in general. When I went for a post-partum checkup two years ago, the gynecologist (who was new to the practice) gave me a pamphlet that advised women not to shove soap up their vagina. I asked her if this was a common problem and she just shook her head and…

Lil Wayne is just another dumb-ass trying too hard to make himself look like rich but isn't really. Too bad, only stupid people enabling idiots like this one with all the attention and ego-boosting crap.

Expecting the Cata Doxa reply in...5..4..3..2...

Well, that's just your theory...

This is the first time in Deadspin history where a white player has been lauded for his athleticism.

Oh very good. She seems like a strong, empowered woman. Hopefully whatever this shit is, it will be very long and put everyone to sleep.

I hope Fred and Friends, the makers of these novelty baking cups, sue the surgery practice for using their product images in this ad campaign, since I'm fairly certain they didn't ok this.

There is never an occasion in which a Randy Marsh image is not apropos.

Right? The best part of being accused of being a prude is that I'm kinky as fuck. So when friends of mine have gotten all up in my business for not having casual sex like them, I'm like, "Look, I like being tied down and dominated until my whole body explodes with pleasure. Is that what you like when you pick up…

Like the White Stripes, the Cubs rarely have anyone on bass

Then I'm sorry, as that's really all I was saying all along. We could take a lesson from the Finns that their way is more successful than ours and apply it in the form of moderate change. Just a simple reality check type of moment where we recognize that our goals are not (seemingly) what they should be and that our…

Derek Jeter is the single most overrated player of this generation. Never has one man garnered so much attention for so little ability.

Hell of a send-off for a guy who wasn't even the best SS on his team for over half his career