I love it so much I want to take her no cheese roasted vegetable pizza back behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

Amy’s is actually all-vegetarian and has a good selection of vegan items. (I had her vegetable korma dish for lunch today.)

God, so true. Most of my facebook friends are like, my actual friends (or at least were at one point) and are generally pretty restrained but luckily the people who post absurd drama on facebook are the same people who don’t know/don’t care about privacy settings. Every once in a while a friend of a friend goes off…

Seriously, a crying selfie?

There’s something about that picture (the smeared eye makeup? the thumbs up? the need to post it to begin with?) that rubs me the wrong way.

I’m a Southerner, born and bred, and these people are fucking appalling. The Confederates were not American soldiers and every last one of the leaders of the secessionist movement were traitors.

Halo Top is fucking delicious and I don’t care about whatever chemicals are in it. Birthday Cake is my favorite flavor. Haters gonna hate!

Three to seven years in prison for the parents!? THAT’S IT?!

This is Vogue. No look counts until a white person does it.

There is nothing original about it, pure 90s appropriation, ass per usual Kardashian style. 

Like Rihanna did 2 years ago?

While millions of refugee children/children of immigrants/etc. get ripped away from their parents and/or denied access to a country and healthcare that could *actually* help them. Fuck everything.

iZombie, The Fosters, The 100. Those are my favorite shows I “watch” while playing on my phone.

Look, I’m still not entirely sure what the difference is between Ansel Elgort and Alden Ehrenreich, but the more I hear about Baby Driver, the more I read the reviews for it (currently at 98% on Rottentomatoes), and the more Guillermo Del Toro praises it gets, the more I admit that I don’t really care who Ankle Elbort…

It must be so nice to be old and have license to be as savage as you want. This whole thing is gold.

Listen, when you’re a parent it is your job to be as embarrassing to your kid as humanly possible. That’s just science.

I didn’t think they were capable of orgasm due to all the bitches ignoring them for chad despite how totally nice and normal they are.

30,000 MRA trolls just orgasmed.

Melton (ETA) is not the next Gloria Steinem. If you have to hand out that label, please read more. Or, even better, appreciate people for the individuals they are instead of shoe horning them into being someone else.