How come people always forget about the “they let you do it” part?

I would love to buy some baby parts from PP.

Blake Lively is such a beautiful person and her kids are so cute, they’re almost a perfect family, except for Ryan’s too close together eyes.

“The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification.”

As a Bulls fan, these jokes are funny now.

Has anyone checked in Spanish Harlem?

SHUT UP YOU MEANIES!!!!!!!

He’s probably got ameeting or birthday party to attend.

In Cleveland, if you ask Siri — Apple’s personal voice assistant — the question “Where is sadness?” — it responds with this photo directing people to FirstEnergy Stadium, home of the Browns.

The Knicks are like the franchise equivalent of the farm where your old pets go to frolic in a meadow.

Well maybe Noah will pick up the scoring slack (ball hits him in the head, is punctured by the steel hairpins securing his bun) (Knicks lose by 38)

This incident will certainly be a thorn in their side.

Alien abduction for sure. That or he tore an ACL getting into the car and wasn’t wearing his life alert pendant.

“My name is Derrick Rose, and this is the longest day of my life.”

Because when the terminator came from the future to save us, all he did was take over the bad man’s job on tv.

She can live in Washington and just fly in a couple of days a week to Mayor.

With all due respect Senator Clinton...

I told you before, I’m not balding.

You kind of have to acknowledge that rap music glorifies everything wrong with black culture.